Tonight, Tomorrow and Always
by Jennyanydot
Summary: Lulu knew that she and Johnny couldn't be together Then she consented to one night of passion and her life was changed forever. She left town without a word. Five years later, she returns, still in love with him. What happens when he learns her secret?
1. Prologue

_Welcome to my newest fan fiction! This story begins in present time and will continue in the future of General Hospital. For those who may have ready my other story __**GH: Second Generation**__, please know that this is completely unrelated and a new realm of General Hospital. I hope that you enjoy and please know that reviews are like candy: not overly healthy but so sweet and wonderful!_

_October 2009-_

"I heard that you'd gotten out of the hospital."

Lulu paused in lifting the beer to her lips. She knew without turning around who the voice belonged to. It wasn't a voice she'd soon forget.

"Yes, I was deemed 'healthy,'" she said dully, taking a sip.

He moved closer, took a seat next to her at the bar. "Uh that's good. I was going to stop by but you always seemed to have visitors."

Lulu smirked, took another sip. "Yeah, tons of company. My family was deathly afraid that I was going to be smothered in the night or something."

"But your okay?"

Lulu was prepared to throw out another snarky comment but his words deflected her. She closed her eyes, set her beer down with a thump. She turned to face him, saw him watching her face. "What do you want, Johnny?"

He frowned, motioned to Coleman for whatever Lulu was drinking. He held his hands up in a peaceful motion. "I was just worried about you. After all it was my house that you fell through. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, see if there was anything I could do for you."

She frowned, swallowed a jeer. "Well don't. I'm fine—obviously," she ran a hand down her arm. "I have all my fingers and toes. I didn't die of hypothermia. I'm good. You can stop playing the white knight. Go back to Olivia. We're through, remember?" She slapped a ten down on the table, flicked a hand at Coleman and strode outside.

Johnny dropped a twenty on Lulu's ten-fold and strode after her. "Lulu! Wait!"

She stopped just outside the door, hugging her arms around her body to ward off the cold. Why the hell couldn't she ever remember to bring a jacket?

"What?"

He stopped in front of her, swearing when he saw her shaking from the cold. "Where's your coat?" He tugged his own overcoat off and despite her protests, laid it over her shoulders.

"I'm _fine_. What do you need Johnny?" She shifted, moving to step around him. But he stopped her, placing his hands against the wall to block her.

He leaned in closer, until her hair brushed at his cheek. "I need _you_."

Her eyes widened any words she could have said stuck in her throat. She managed to push him away, but he held strong. "Johnny, what—I mean, what the hell are you talking about? We're over; we are supposed to be over. You're with Olivia and I—I'm alone. But that's okay. _We _are over."

He shook his head, his eyes having gone dark. She'd seen that look before, the first time he'd made love to her on the _Haunted Star_. "You know that we aren't. You know it. We have something, Lulu. Something strong. Nothing and no one can change that." He leaned closer, capturing her lips with his, cutting off anything she could have said.

She tried to fight it, knew that she needed to stop it. But there was some part of her that wanted it, that wanted him. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to sink into the kiss, even though she knew that it was wrong.

He broke the kiss, leaned his forehead against hers. "_We_ are not over. That proves that we aren't over."

Lulu closed her eyes, not sure what to say. "It has to be," she whispered. "We can't have anything."

"Come home with me, Lulu. Just tonight. Only tonight," Johnny whispered, lowering his head to look at her face.

She nodded, not trusting her voice. She allowed herself to be led down the street toward Johnny's apartment.

"Only tonight," she echoed. And told herself that she would not think about tomorrow or anything else. Tonight was for her and Johnny.

* * * * *

They made it to the apartment in minutes. Taking her hand, he led her into the elevator. When the door closed, he locked her against the wall, capturing her mouth again.

Then the door opened, he pulled her down the hall. They were pulling at each other's clothes even before he'd finished opening the door. He yanked her against him, feeding off her. She fell against the door as it closed.

Lulu fought with his shirt, throwing a shower of buttons on the floor as she pulled it off. She willingly let him slip her shirt over her head. Passion surrounded them as finally, they were skin on skin.

Johnny brushed her hair away, brushing kisses down her neck. Then he moved lower, capturing her breast in his mouth.

She moaned, thinking briefly how so very wrong this was, but she knew that she couldn't stop the inevitable. "Johnny…" she breathed, unable to say anymore. She fumbled with his belt, yanking it and his jeans off quickly, even as he pulled her pants down her slim body.

Then he pushed her against the door, holding her with his body. Lifting his head to stare in her eyes, he saw the passion clouding them, knowing that she wouldn't trust him again easily.

Lulu blinked, knowing that no matter what happened between them in the moment, they had no real future. But then she remembered what she'd said earlier.

"Only tonight," she breathed, even as he plunged inside her. She closed her eyes, as they teetered toward that proverbial cliff. Then together, as one, they fell until there was nothing more.

_Remember to review, please. Let me know if you want me to continue. I think that Lulu will be fun to write about especially I didn't actually include much about her in my other story. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 1

**_Thanks for the reviews! And for those who added my profile or this story to their notifications. I really hope that this story will live up to your expectations. For those of you are interested in the future of General Hospital, please check out my other story, __GH: Second Generation__. It features some characters from all three ABC soaps. There are some characters which I created. Thanks again for reading and keep reviewing! I like to know what my readers think of my work. Enjoy!_**

_December 2009-_

Lulu stared at the little white stick in her hand. In two minutes, she would know her future. And right now it wasn't looking too promising.

She gingerly set the test on the bathroom counter, ran her hands through her hair nervously. This couldn't be happening to her. Not now. Not again. She'd done this already, and had managed to move on from it.

But now it was different. A different time, a different relationship…and, oh god, a different man.

Johnny.

She didn't know what she would do if the test were positive. Johnny would do the honorable thing, she knew. His own relationship with his father had been rocky at best and schizophrenic at its worst. So if they were having a child, he'd stand by her.

Even if it was the hardest thing he could do.

Lulu told herself that she and Johnny were done. Their relationship had been passionate and volatile but there wasn't anything lasting. She knew that it was unlikely they'd ever make it work, even though they loved each other.

Lulu herself had moved on. Even though she wasn't seeing anyone, she had moved past loving Johnny. She knew that some part of her would always love him, would always love what they'd had, of what they could've had. But it wasn't in the cards and she was content.

Even Johnny, by all appearances, had moved on. Despite their considerable age differences, Johnny and Olivia were good for each other.

Lulu closed her eyes, leaned against the wall. She was supposed to be over him, but knew that if the test were positive, things would be forever changed. She sighed, glanced at the clock on her cell. It had been two minutes.

Taking a deep breath, she reached for the stick, read the results and let out a sob. Dropping the stick to the counter, she sank to the floor, wrapping her arms around her body and curling into a ball.

She knew now that the world as she knew it was forever changed.

And there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it but cry.

Lulu took a deep breath and pushed the doorbell on Carly's front porch. It was, she thought, déjà vu. Carly had been the first person she'd told before—the first time.

And here she was, again, pregnant by a man she couldn't be with.

She was afraid to say it, because if she said it, it would be real. She would have to face that she was pregnant. And she would have to do something about it.

The scariest part of it was that she knew Johnny would stand up. He would, she knew, be a father simply because it was the right thing. But the only problem was that she didn't want him to do the right thing because it he was supposed to. She wanted him to do it because he wanted to.

And she knew that could never happen. They just didn't work together. It was the saddest part of the whole thing. Nothing could ever change that no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't make it work.

"Lulu?"

Lulu jumped at the sound of Carly's voice. She hadn't even heard the door open. She lifted her gaze to meet her cousin's eyes. "Uh, hi."

Carly frowned slightly. "Hi! Do you want to come in?"

Lulu nodded. "Sure. That would be nice. I was hoping to talk to you."

"Of course. I was wondering when you'd come by. You haven't even seen Josslyn yet."

Lulu's eyes widened even as Carly stepped aside to let her past. "Uh. That's okay. I'm sure she's adorable. You know me and babies. We don't exactly mix."

Carly laughed now. "Nonsense." She grabbed Lulu's arm and tugged her into the living room. "Sit."

Lulu slipped her arms out of her jacket, draped it over the arm of a chair. She sat down on the couch, eyed the tiny bundle that Carly was lifting out of the bassinet. She managed to hide her horror as her cousin gently placed the baby in her less than welcoming arms.

"I'll be right back. Just hold her," Carly said and slipped out of the room.

Lulu looked up, the terror evident on her face. But Carly was already gone. She sighed and stared back down at the little face. Josslyn was adorable; there was no mistake of that.

But, she realized, you couldn't exactly expect Carly and Jax—two of the most gorgeous looking people she knew—to have an average-looking baby.

Still, she'd rather look at her from afar. Breathing a sigh when she heard Carly's heels moving back toward the living room, she shifted the baby in her arms. When Carly appeared with a bottle in her hand, she shook her head at the offer to feed the baby.

Carly angled her head at her cousin as she took the baby and settled her with the bottle. When Josslyn was happily sucking away at the bottle, Carly turned spoke slowly, "what's up? You seem awfully quiet today."

Lulu took a deep breath, closed her eyes and momentarily wished herself somewhere else. Anywhere. Then she opened her eyes, stared hard at her cousin, knowing that if she had this much trouble telling her, it was going to be hell when she had to tell Johnny.

"Lulu?"

"I'm pregnant."

To Carly's credit, she didn't look completely shocked. For that, Lulu was grateful. She didn't know if you could handle hysterics right now.

"Are you sure?"

Lulu nodded miserably. "Three pregnancy tests sure."

"Oh honey, how? Who? When?" Carly lifted Josslyn to her shoulder to burp her.

Lulu let out a breath. "The usual way, completely unplanned. The who is a little more difficult—Johnny—"

Carly cut her off with wide eyes. "_Johnny_? I thought you were over him."

Lulu opened her mouth, then shut it again. Was she over him? She wanted to be over him, she had to be. But there was a major difference between what her head knew and what her heart wanted. "I'm supposed to be over him. It was one night, right after I got out of the hospital. One major mistake," she finished, the tears evident in her voice. As they fell down her cheeks, she furiously wiped at them.

"Oh Lulu…" Carly crooned, rising to place a satisfied Josslyn in her bassinette. She moved back to sit on the couch next to Lulu and gathered her in her arms. "It'll be okay." Lulu shook her head, but not knowing what else to do, turned her face into Carly's shoulder.

Carly held her cousin as she sobbed. She knew that this was especially hard for Lulu because it wasn't the first time she'd gotten pregnant by accident. And right now she wished to god that there was something she could do to take the hurt away.

When Lulu's sobs quieted and her body stopped shaking, she lifted her head from Carly's shoulder. Looking at her cousin through tear-stained eyes, she asked, "What am I going to do now?"

"What do you want to do?"

Lulu shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. I want to crawl in a hole and hid forever. I want to run away and not be pregnant anymore. I want to go back to that night and tell him no!"

"But you can't."

"No! I can't and right now I don't know what I want to do if I can do any of the above," Lulu replied quickly. She pushed herself up from the couch and paced the length of the room. Carly watched her, waiting.

"There is one option," she said quietly.

Lulu stopped pacing. "I know," she said quietly, "I know." Then she turned to face her cousin, fire in her eyes. "But I don't think that I can do it. Not this time. I can't have the fact that I killed two innocent babies on my conscience."

Carly let out a breath, rose and walked to where Lulu stood by the window. She ran her hands down her cousin's arms. "Okay, then you only have one other option. You have the baby."

Lulu nodded, "I know." Her voice cracked at the end. "That's the part that scares the hell out of me."

"It'll be okay. You have me, your brothers, and your dad. You're not alone. You even have Johnny." She angled her head, studied Lulu's pale face. "You haven't told him, have you?"

Lulu shook her head quickly. "No. And right now, I'm not going to tell him. I can't."

"He needs to know Lulu. It's his child too. And before long, it's going to be obvious. Wouldn't it be better to get it over with now, rather than later?"

"I can't. I don't know what I'm going to do. But I'm not going to tell him," Lulu said definitely. She aimed a steely look at her cousin. "You can't tell him, Carly. Please."

Carly shook her head. "No, Lulu. It's not my news to tell. I won't say a word to anyone."

Lulu let out a breath of relief. "Thanks for that."

"Of course. I'm here for you, whatever you need." She pulled Lulu into a hug, rubbing a hand down her back. "How are you feeling?"

Lulu pulled back, looked at her cousin's face. "You mean beyond terrified and stupid? Okay. Not too much queasiness yet."

"You aren't stupid, sweetheart," Carly replied gently.

Lulu raised an eyebrow. "This is the second time I've let this happen. You'd have thought I would have learned my lesson the first time around. But no, it happens again. With a different guy."

"I don't care about the circumstances," Carly said firmly. "You aren't stupid. You aren't the first woman to have this happen. Look at me or Elizabeth Webber or…" Carly smirked "…Alexis Davis. Now she was a little stupid. I mean, three children by three different men."Lulu let out a breath, smiled because she knew that Carly was trying to make her feel better.

Carly put an arm around Lulu, hugging her close. "It'll be okay. I promise. I will be here for you, every step of the way. But first things first, you need to be checked out by a doctor."

Lulu took a breath. It was slowly becoming real. "I know. But not at GH. I can't handle that yet. There's a women's clinic down by the pier. I'll go there."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Lulu looked at Carly's worried eyes. "Would you?"

"Of course. I said I would be here for you. I'll come to every appointment if you want. Just let me get Josslyn ready to go." She rose, placed a gentle kiss on Lulu's head before reaching for the baby.

Lulu couldn't make herself move just yet. She waited as Carly changed Josslyn's diaper and put her in the car seat. It took only minutes before Carly had her coat on and was ready to go. Taking another deep breath, Lulu forced herself to stand and mechanically moved to get her purse and jacket. Within minutes, they were in Carly's car heading toward the clinic.

Lulu didn't move when Carly parked the car in front of the Women's Clinic. She wasn't ready for this, she thought wildly, it was too soon.

Carly laid a hand over Lulu's, grasping it tightly. "You can do this Lulu. You have to. Remember, I'm right here."

Taking a breath, she nodded. "Of course. I can do this. Even though I'm terrified."

"Every woman feels this way. It's new—the idea that you are carrying a little human being. But it will get easier," Carly replied gently. She reached to open her door, giving Lulu a moment as she opened the back door to free Josslyn's baby carrier. "Ready?" she asked when Lulu opened her door and climbed out of the car.

Lulu nodded slowly. "I think so." She held herself rod-straight as she walked toward the door.

Inside the clinic it was a flurry of activity. Babies crying, children playing with the few toys in the waiting area. Lulu eyed the women who were sitting in the hard plastic chairs with their bulging bellies. For the first time, she realize that she would be in their places someday. Someday soon.

Even though she was carrying the baby carrier, Carly took a hold of Lulu's arm, pulling her toward the front desk. The blond receptionist smiled widely as she efficiently answered phones and held a conversation with another nurse at the same time. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," Carly nodded firmly, eyeing the petrified look on Lulu's face. "My cousin just found out today that she's pregnant. She needs the pregnancy confirmed and to be checked out by a doctor."

"Okay. What's your name?" the receptionist asked Lulu.

When Lulu said nothing, Carly answered for her. "Her name's Lulu Spencer."

The receptionist nodded, looked at her computer. "We only have two doctors here today and there are two women ahead of her so it may be a while."

"We'll wait," Carly replied quickly before Lulu could back out.

"Okay, here are some forms to fill out. You know medical history, insurance, etc. Just bring them back when you are finished." She handed Carly a clipboard and a pen. Carly picked it up and led Lulu back to one of the empty chairs.

Lulu sat down numbly. This was really happening, she thought. There was no way to go back, she had to face the fact that she was indeed pregnant.

Carly handed Lulu the clipboard. "Start filling these out. I'll help you."

Working together, it only took ten minutes to fill out the forms and then Carly took the papers back to the desk. Lulu stared at the other women in the room. They were all pregnant, she thought, all hugely pregnant. Even now, she was having a hard time facing the idea that she would be them in the near future.

Carly handed the forms to the receptionist and glanced back worriedly at her cousin. It was easy to see just how terrified Lulu was and Carly wished that she could just take the fear away. She suspected that it wasn't the fact that she was pregnant that scared her most, but the fact that this was the second time it had happened to her.

Carly knew that there was nothing that she could say or do that would completely relax Lulu. She knew from experience just how scary it was to find yourself pregnant and alone. The only thing she could do was to be there for Lulu.

"Carly?"

Carly glanced up when she heard her name called. Kelly Lee, her own obstetrician, walked out from behind the desk. "Hi."

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong? You could have just called my office," Kelly asked quickly.

Carly shook her head. "No, it's not me…or Josslyn. It's my cousin, Lulu Spencer. She's pregnant and needs to be checked out by a doctor. She didn't particularly want to go to General Hospital because of the obvious family ties."

Kelly's eyes darkened and she glanced toward the waiting room where Lulu sat. "Is she okay?" she asked quietly, knowing Lulu's medical history.

Carly shook her head. "Physically, she's fine. Just pregnant. Emotionally, she's a mess. Is there any way you could examine her. She knows you and will—"

"Of course," Kelly cut her off quickly. She turned to the receptionist. "Dora, I'm going to do Ms. Spencer first. I know that my other patients have been waiting, but this is a special case."

The receptionist was about to argue, but as cut-off by the endless ringing of her phone. Kelly didn't wait for an answer and only motioned for Carly to follow her. She walked to where Lulu sat and knelt down in front of her. "Lulu? Why don't you come with me? I'm going to examine you."

Lulu took a deep breath, glanced up at Carly and nodded. She rose slowly as Carly hefted the baby carrier.

Within minutes, they were ensconced in an examining room. Lulu held her breath as Kelly took blood and sent it off with a nurse to be tested. It would tell them that she was definitely pregnant.

"So, when was the last time you had sex?" Kelly asked, sitting down across from Lulu.

"Halloween," she mumbled, refusing to look at Kelly.

"Okay, so that would put you at about nine weeks. Have you experienced any morning sickness, nausea, etc?"

"A little," she admitted, still looking away. "Nothing too bad. It was the same last time too. I really didn't get sick."

"Then you are very lucky," she said with a smile, trying to make light of the situation. But Lulu was unwavering. Kelly sobered, moved so that Lulu was forced to look at her. "Last time you had options, you chose and you can choose again. Do you want to have this child?"

"I don't want to have an abortion, if that's what you're asking," Lulu said quietly. "As for what I want to do with it, I don't know."

Kelly nodded, noted something down on her file. "Okay." She rose as a knock on the door sounded. A nurse was waiting with a piece of paper. After a few words, she took the paper and shut the door.

"Well?" Carly spoke up for the first time.

Kelly glanced at the paper then at Carly. "She's definitely pregnant."

Lulu closed her eyes, willing herself to not fall apart. Crying wouldn't serve any purpose.

Kelly sat down across from Lulu, took her hands. "Lulu, it will be okay. I'm here as both your friend and your doctor. It will be okay."

"Oh god, I hope so," Lulu said breathily.

Kelly stood, instructed Lulu to lie back. She quickly examined her, both internally and externally. Lulu said noting, simply lay back and attempted to hold back her tears.

It wasn't until later, after they'd finished at the clinic, Carly had driven back to her house and Lulu had driven herself back to her apartment that she allowed herself to fall apart. She did it in her bedroom, crying into a pillow so that Maxie wouldn't hear. She didn't want anyone to know just yet. She didn't want to have to explain herself to anyone, to listen to their sympathies, or to their questions.

She just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Because compared to the alternative, it was the best idea she could come up with.

_So here's chapter 1. What do you think so far? Any suggestions? I can say that the first two or three chapters will be happening in present time, but the rest will be a few years in the future. Please keep reading and reviewing! _


	3. Chapter 2

_ Okay, here's chapter two. This is the final chapter that will take place in the present. The next chapter (which I already have written, but will wait to post) will take place six years from now. Hope you like it and please continue to review!!_

_**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**_

Maxie frowned and pounded on Lulu's bedroom door _again_. It had been three days, she thought, three days since Lulu had come out of her room. She'd called in sick at work and refused say what was wrong.

Maxie didn't want to admit it, but she was worried about her friend.

"Lulu! Open this door! Get your ass out of bed!" She yelled through the closed door. She could hear rustling and knew that Lulu was probably ignoring her, again, the same way she'd done for three days. "Come on, Lulu. It can't be that bad." She sighed, reached up to grab a bobby pin from her hair, "okay, I'm coming in!"

It was fair warning, she thought as she used the pin to pick the lock. It was ironic, she thought, as it had been Lulu who had first shown her this trick. Satisfied when she heard the lock click open, Maxie pushed open the door. The room was dark and cold. The curtains were pulled shut and Lulu was huddled in the middle of the bed.

"What's up with you? You call in sick and don't say a word as to what's wrong. And Carly keeps calling me to see if you are okay. I keep telling her that you won't tell me anything," Maxie snapped, relieved that Lulu was at least alive.

If you could call it that in her state.

She reached to open the curtains, letting in the sunshine. Lulu groaned and pulled the pillow over her eyes. Maxie grabbed it before she could roll over again. "No. I demand to know what's wrong. You are usually the strong one. Nothing gets at you. You look like someone died." Then she stopped, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow. "No one died, right?"

Lulu rolled her eyes, pushed herself up in bed. It was blatantly obvious that Maxie wasn't going to leave until Lulu told her what was wrong. "No, no one died. Although right now I think I'd be better off."

Maxie frowned. "Lulu, what are you talking about? Are you sick or something?"

"No! I'm not sick." She sighed, deciding that it was probably better to just get it over with. "I'm pregnant."

Maxie didn't catch herself as well as Carly had, Lulu thought, as Maxie's eyes widened and she looked very surprised. "Wow. That's news."

"Is that all you can say?" Lulu demanded, twisting to plant her feet on the ground. But as soon as she started to rise, she realized that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. "Oh god," she managed as she made a beeline for the bathroom.

Maxie hurried after her as she heard Lulu drop to the floor and heave into the toilet. "Are you okay?"

Taking an experimental breath, Lulu pushed her hair out of her eyes and sat back on her knees. "I hope so because I hate doing that. And I just told Kelly Lee that I didn't really get sick. I probably jinxed it."

Maxie walked to the sink, wet a wash cloth and handed it to Lulu. "You've already seen a doctor?"

Lulu nodded, "Carly was the first person I told and she dragged me to the clinic. I'm healthy."

"That's good. Um…Lulu…can I ask who's the father?" Maxie questioned.

Lulu looked down at her lap then back at Maxie. "Johnny. It was a one-night stand. One night and now this." She lifted her hands in a helpless defense.

Maxie hid her shock this time. "Oh Lulu…have you told him?"

Lulu shook her head firmly. "No, right now I have no plans to tell him. I just can't. I don't know what I'm going to do yet."

"Well, you can't sit on the bathroom floor and you definitely can't spend the next seven months or so in your dark bedroom. You might as well get ready, go to work or something. _Do _something. It'll take your mind off the baby for a while," Maxie said practically, taking Lulu's arm and pulling her up off the floor.

Lulu sighed, knowing that Maxie was right. "Is Kate pissed that I called in for so many days?"

Maxie shook her head. "She's out of the country. She's in Paris right now. I think that you chose the right time to call in sick. But you really need to get back to the office. As much as I don't like to admit it, I need your help."

Lulu smiled, knowing just how hard it was for Maxie to admit helplessness. "Well in that case, give me an hour. I'll meet you at the office."

She moved quickly now, back to her bedroom. Maxie, satisfied that she had done her good deed and friendly duty for the day, slipped into her coat and picked up her purse. She called out a goodbye as Lulu raced back into the bathroom.

Even as she made her way toward the elevator, she knew that while Lulu kept a strong façade of being okay, inside she was terrified. Maxie could only hope that things would get better when Lulu started keeping up with her regular routine.

If they weren't, it was going to be a long next few months.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

It had taken the entire hour for Lulu to make life-altering decisions. By the time she was walking out of the elevator into Crimson's office, Lulu had decided that there was no way she could stay in Port Charles.

Not if she wanted to keep this a secret, she thought, because Johnny was no doubt see her and know the truth if she waited so long.

Lulu would tell her brothers and father, and then she would leave, just go. She didn't know where, but knew that she was resourceful enough to make a decent life for both herself and her child.

Maxie was sitting at her desk, manning both phone lines. She smiled slightly when she saw Lulu stow her bag under her desk and reach for the phone.

"Hello, this is Lulu from Crimson. How can I help you?"

She worked the rest of the day in automatic. She knew that she just needed to get through it. And finally she did.

But then the real test came when she was walking up to Windermere from the launch. She'd called Lucky and asked him and Elizabeth to meet her at Nickolas'. She didn't tell them why, just that she needed to see everyone.

She smiled at Alfred when he let her inside. "Hello Alfred."

"Ms. Lulu, what a pleasure to see you," he replied, taking her coat off her shoulders.

She took a deep breath and walked inside the parlor, where Nickolas, Lucky and Elizabeth were waiting. "Hi."

"Lulu, what's wrong? You sounded funny on the phone," Lucky said. He glanced at his brother.

She shrugged. "I'm fine physically. I'm not sick or anything." She took a deep breath, decided to just get it over with. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Nickolas could barely make out the words.

Elizabeth was the first to recover. "Have you seen a doctor?"

Lulu nodded, sat on the arm of the couch. "Yes, a few days ago. Carly took me. I'm healthy…and so it the baby."

"The baby?" Lucky echoed, even as Elizabeth elbowed him in the gut. He looked slightly sheepish.

Nickolas rose, stalked to the liquor cabinet, and poured himself a finger of whiskey. He knocked it down and turned, to stare hard at his sister. "Who's the father?"

Lulu hesitated. She knew that neither of her brothers had approved of Johnny, especially when she was dating him. "Johnny."

"_Johnny! _You slept with him. I thought the two of you were through," Lucky erupted before Elizabeth could stop him. "What were you thinking?"

"I will admit that I wasn't thinking. It was one night and has not been repeated. Johnny and I can't be together," Lulu said quickly.

"What are you going to do?" Elizabeth asked quietly, knowing what Lulu's other choice had been.

"I'm going to keep the baby," Lulu began, finishing when she saw Nickolas start to say something. "But I'm not staying in Port Charles."

"Where will you go," Lucky asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Somewhere far away. I don't want Johnny to know that I am carrying his child. There's no other way. So I have to go away."

"For how long?"

"Forever," Lulu said. She knew that she might not be able to return home for a long time.

Nickolas set down the glass, stared hard at his sister. "Where will you go?"

"I don't know. New York, somewhere else. Right now I have no idea," she admitted.

"How about Greece?"

Lulu frowned at Nickolas. "What?"

"Greece. I have a compound there. It's fully staffed; the island is a nice place to raise a child. It's safe. It's yours if you want it."

"Are you certain?" Lulu was afraid to hope, this would make things so much easier.

Nickolas nodded, moved to the desk and picked up the phone. "Just let me make a call. How soon do you want to leave?"

Lulu took a deep breath. This was it, she thought. "Day after tomorrow. I think that I can wrap everything up at work by then. I have to tell Maxie what I'm doing and everything. Same with Carly." She stopped, smiling at him. "Thank you, Nickolas."

"I'd rather have you someplace safe. And this way, we can all come visit you…because I doubt that you will want to come back to Port Charles."

She shook her head, rose to leave. "No, not right now. I don't know when." Even as Alfred brought her jacket and she shrugged into it, she turned. "Thank you, Nickolas. All of you, thanks. I couldn't do this alone."

"You won't be alone, Lulu," Elizabeth said quietly. "Even if you are in Greece, we are only a phone call away."

"Thanks for that as well. It's nice to know. I need to go home, pack, get things ready, You'll let me know if you can arrange things?" she asked Nickolas.

He nodded, dialing the phone. "I'll call."

Elizabeth moved to Lulu, pulled her into a hug. "I wish you luck, Lulu. I hope that you are making the right decision for you. Because I know just how hard it is to be a single mother. I'm here if you need me, for anything. Advice, whatever."

Lulu smiled, squeezed Elizabeth briefly. "Thank you. I will surely take you up on that. I think that I will need all the advice I can get."

Lucky came next. He hugged his sister, placed a kiss on her cheek. "Be safe, Lulu. I expect updates. Especially after the baby is born. I need to know that the two of you are okay."

"Of course. You can come visit. Nickolas is making it incredibly easy on me. But I would love to live in Greece," Lulu finished. "I better go."

Without waiting for anyone to respond, Lulu hurried out of the room and toward the front door. She blindly rode the launch back to Port Charles, thinking that she would have to tell her father and Ethan still.

And she only had two days to do it.

It was jolting still, she thought, to know that everything she knew would be changing in just a matter of days. But, she had made a decision and would have to live with it.

She knew that thing would be different, but she was too much a Spencer to not be intrigued with the idea of an adventure.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

_ Please review! They make my day…stay tuned for the chapter three either Sunday or Monday…_


	4. Chapter 3

_December 2015 - _

It is said that every artist has a muse. If that is the case, then there shouldn't be an issue for a writer to have one as well. It was interesting though, when one's muse was only five years old.

Lulu pushed her glasses up on her head and rubbed her eyes. She'd been at it for almost five hours, she thought, and still there was nothing. She sighed, rose and walked to the window. Looking out over the water, she mused at how lucky she'd been. It was not every single mom's luck to have a prince for a brother who could provide her with a house and the ability to successfully raise her child.

She was grateful for what her family had done for her, for what they'd given her. But she knew that despite the material items, she'd worked her ass off to get where she was today. Even though it hadn't been easy, it had definitely been worth it.

To know that, she only had to look at her little girl.

Lulu remembered how she had felt when she'd first stepped foot on the island. She'd been young, naïve and cynical. And while she was still relatively young and still very much a cynic, she knew that she wasn't naïve.

Having a child and being a single parent had cured her of that.

Not that she didn't regret her daughter. There was no way for that to happen. From the moment her baby was placed in her arms, she had been the center of Lulu's life. There was just no other way to explain it.

So Lulu had set out to be the best mother she could be. And in Lulu's opinion, she'd succeeded. Even at the young age of five, Amelia Laura Spencer was reading at a third grade level. She was funny, playful and smart. And best of all, she'd inherited her mother's sense of adventure.

She was, in simple terms, the apple of her mother's eye.

Of which she was well aware and often attempted to exploit the fact in hopes of getting her way in arguments. But Lulu, who had been just like her, knew better and always managed to stay one step ahead.

For now anyway, Lulu thought with a hint of a smile; because if she turned out to be anything like her mother, Amelia would without a doubt give Lulu a run for her money.

But for now, Lulu was content to be the best mother she could to her little girl, which included making up for the fact that Amelia had no father.

That she was aware of anyway. Lulu had made a promise to herself that someday, when Amelia was old enough, she would tell her who her father was. But for now, it didn't matter.

For now, they had a good life. They lived on a gorgeous island, in a quaint little village and in a beautiful compound. All of which were on loan from Nickolas. Lulu had a houseful of servants, yet refused help when it came to the raising of her child. She knew that she had to do it herself.

She did this and more. In addition to raising her child alone, she had managed to become a published author. It had happened by mistake mostly. Writing had become something she did when she needed to de-stress. It had started when she had a squalling infant and somewhere along the way, she had finished something halfway decent. Her cousin had convinced her to send it to a publisher and to her amazement, it had been accepted.

So today, almost four years later, she had two novels under her belt and was currently attempting to write the third, albeit with difficulty.

For some reason, it was troubling her. Lulu told herself that she just needed to focus, but something was keeping her unsettled. She couldn't figure out what or why though. But something was off. She knew that Amelia was okay so that couldn't be it. She'd already checked all the locks, so everything was fine there.

But still, something was different.

And she evidently would be able to write until it was right…whatever the hell it was.

Lulu sighed, ran her hands through her hair, frowning when she knocked her glasses off her head onto the floor. Maybe she just needed a good night's sleep. It was, after all, after two in the morning.

Yes, she decided, that was it. She just needed to get some rest. Lulu turned, started walking out of her office toward the front stairs. She was nearly at the first step when she heard the first ring.

She leaped for the phone, snatching it up before it could ring again. "Hello," she asked, only a little breathless.

"Lulu, it's Lucky."

She frowned, rubbed her eyes as she mentally calculated the time difference between Port Charles and Greece. "What's wrong? It's only a little after two in—"

"Dad had another heart attack," Lucky interjected, throwing her off slightly.

"Oh my God, is he okay," she breathed. She leaned up against the wall, not quite believing what her brother was saying.

"They don't know," Lucky admitted. "They're taking him to surgery right now, to open the blockage. It's pretty bleak."

"I don't know what to say. I thought that he was trying to be healthier and everything."

Lucky snorted an answer. "You know that, he will never change." Then he sobered. "But really Lulu, his prognosis isn't good."

She closed her eyes. She knew what he was going to ask her to do and right now she wasn't sure if she could do it. "Lucky, I don't know if I can come back. I-I don't know."

"You have to, Lulu. If Dad doesn't survive this, he should at least see you and Mel before…"

Sighing, she glanced at the clock again and calculated that if she could buy tickets on the next plane to Port Charles and be there by that next afternoon. "Fine. I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Nickolas is sending his plane as we speak. It'll be a lot faster than flying commercial. And right now, we don't have any time to waste. Call me when you guys get in. Someone will come pick you up. But please hurry. We may not have much time."

"All right, Lucky. We'll be there, both Mel and I. Thanks for calling," Lulu said as she hung up the phone. She knew that before she did anything she needed to get some sleep. But as she walked up the stairs toward her bedroom, she sent up silent prayers that her father would be okay.

Right now, from halfway around the world, it was the best she could do.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

"Mommy? Where are we going?"

Lulu glanced over at her daughter who was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. It was half after seven in the morning and they were halfway over the Atlantic, speeding toward Port Charles. Amelia was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, as Lulu had woke her up at five o'clock to leave.

"We're going to see grandpa and Uncle Lucky and Uncle Nickolas, baby," Lulu said absentmindedly. Even though Amelia had never been to Port Charles for obvious reasons, she was no stranger who Lulu's family who often visited the compound.

Amelia smiled brightly. "Are we going to see Spencer? And Jake and Cam?"

Lulu smiled now. Amelia loved spending time with her cousins. She been recently asking if they could go visit them, rather than them coming to visit her. Lulu had had to explain that they couldn't go to Port Charles because Greece was so much better. Fortunately for Lulu, Amelia hadn't questioned the reason too much. "Yes, we will see all three of them. And Uncle Nickolas' new baby Victoria." Nickolas and Rebecca had managed to put aside their differences and realized their love for each other. They'd gotten married a year before and only four months ago, had welcomed their baby daughter.

Amelia's eyes widened in excitement and she bounced in her seat, twisting to look out the window. "Yay!"

Lulu glanced down, knowing that she needed to explain the real reason for their sudden visit after she'd been so adamant when Amelia had asked before. "Mel, we're not visiting just because. We're visiting because Grandpa is very sick. And he needs us," she said gently.

Amelia turned, stared hard at her mother. "I-Is he going to be o-okay?" she asked, her bottom lip trembling.

Lulu sighed, set aside the book she'd been reading. Rising, she moved to gather the little girl in her arms, knowing that it wouldn't be too much longer before she was too big to hold like that. "Oh sweet pea, I wish I could say that he will be. But no one knows right now. He's in a hospital, where there are people to help him. We just need to pray."

Amelia shifted to look at her mother. "Okay, Mommy." She allowed her mother another moment of cuddling before she started squirming. When Lulu let her go, she raced to the little kitchenette. "I'm hungry," she called out behind her.

Lulu blinked back the tears that threatened and rose to follow her daughter. Every so often she questioned her choices. Was she right to run when she found out that she was pregnant? Should she have told Johnny? Was she right to keep her daughter sequestered away on a Greek island instead of surrounded by her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents? It was the times when there was a crisis that the questions ran through her head.

But she knew that right now, she needed to focus on the fact that her father was sick and that she needed to get into and out of Port Charles without Johnny seeing Amelia.

That would be the real test amongst all her choices.


	5. Chapter 4

_On to Chapter 3. I thank all those who reviewed the last chapter or added my story or me to their alerts/favorites. Please remember to review this chapter. I hope you like it!_

From the moment she'd left Port Charles, Lulu never imagined that she would be back. This was her first thought as she stepped out of Nickolas' plane with her daughter in tow.

Lulu hugged her coat closer to her body against the cold. Hefting a suitcase and a small carryon, she gripped Amelia's hand. "Come on, Mel. We need to find Uncle Lucky."

Amelia, clad in a brand new coat and shiny black boots, was wide-eyed as she walked down the stairs from the plane. When she reached the ground, she leaned over and picked up a bit of snow that was dusted over the ground. It was like a winter wonderland, Lulu thought, as she watched her daughter throw the snow in the air and laugh in delight.

She briefly wondered why she ever denied her child this simple joy.

"Lulu!"

She looked up, smiling when she saw her brother running toward them, waving his arms.

"Lucky!" She dropped her cases, picked up her daughter and ran toward her brother.

He caught the two of them in his arms, hugging them tightly. When he let go, Lulu stepped back and smiled. "I'm back." She glanced down at her daughter and corrected herself, "We're back."

Lucky matched his sister's careful smile. "And not a moment too soon. Dad just got out of surgery."

Lulu closed her eyes. To give both of them a moment, she turned, walked back to where she'd dropped their suitcases. Picking up the bags, she refused help when Lucky tried to take them. She took a deep breath. "I-Is he okay?"

Lucky shrugged. "I don't know. The doctor says he's got a chance, a slim one, but a chance. It's touch and go. I know that he will be happy to see you and Amelia though. Come on, the car's over this way."

Silently, the three of them walked to where Lucky had parked his car. After they'd loaded the luggage and were seated inside, Lucky started the car and drove toward the hospital.

"Mommy? Where are we going now?"

Lulu glanced at her brother, and then looked back at Amelia. "We're going to see Grandpa…at the hospital."

Amelia nodded slowly. "Does the hospital have food? I'm so hungry."

Lulu smiled. "Yes, I think that the hospital will have food. I'm sure that we can find you something."

"So Amelia, how's school?" Lucky asked his niece. The little girl brightened.

"I love school! I like to read, but my teacher always makes me read little kid books. They're boring," Amelia added with the disdain of someone much older.

Lucky rolled his eyes. "Now where did she get her love of school from? Because it certainly wasn't you," he said to his sister as he pulled into the hospital parking lot.

She smiled, opening her door and waiting while her daughter climbed out of the car. Together, the three of them traipsed through the snow, inside the hospital and into the elevator.

When the door opened, Lulu was thrown back in time. Everything looked the way it did when she'd left. Lucky nudged her forward, taking Amelia's hand in his.

He bent down to her level. "Amelia, why don't I take you to get some food? We'll let your mom have some time alone."

Amelia glanced at her mother quickly before turning to her uncle. "Okay," she said slowly.

Lulu knelt down to her daughter. "Go with Uncle Lucky, sweet pea. I'll be fine. Go find your American hamburger. You know how Cook can't seem to make it right. This is your chance."

Grinning, Amelia threw her arms around her mother. "I love you Mommy."

Fighting tears, Lulu hugged her little girl tighter. "I love you too Baby. Now go. I'll see you soon." She placed a kiss on Amelia's head as she rose, giving her brother a grateful glance.

She leaned against the wall, waiting until Lucky and Amelia had rounded the corner toward the cafeteria and giving herself a calming moment. Knowing that she would have to do it inevitably, she picked up her purse and walked to the nurses' station.

"Can you tell me which room Luke Spencer is in?"

The nurse looked up, smiling. "Of course. Room 1260. Just down the hall that way," she replied, pointing to the hallway to Lulu's right.

Lulu smiled her thanks and began walking, as if she were running the gauntlet. She stopped short when she reached her father's hospital room. The blinds were open, so she could see that Tracy was sitting with him.

But she couldn't make herself go inside. It was as if her feet were glued to the floor. She simply couldn't move.

Then she shook her head. This was ridiculous, she thought. She had to see him. Taking a breath, she knocked on the open door.

Tracy turned from where she'd been focused on Luke's breathing. As long as he was breathing, it meant that he was still alive. She jumped up quickly when she saw Lulu standing in the doorway. "Lulu."

"Hello Tracy," Lulu said slowly. She walked in the room even slower. "How is he?"

"Stable. But not quite out of the woods yet," Tracy said and did something completely out of character: she threw her arms around Lulu and hugged her. "I'm so glad that you are here. He needed to see you…and Amelia. Is she here?"

Lulu could only nod. Then she managed to recover. "Yes, she's with Lucky in the cafeteria."

Tracy smiled. "Good. Maybe I'll join them. I'll leave you to spend time with your father. He should actually be waking up soon."

"All right," Lulu said, moving robotically toward the bed. She set her purse and coat on the table at the end of the bed and took Tracy's vacated seat. Tracy slipped out of the room quietly.

Lulu took a breath. She always saw her father as full of life. So whenever he was like this, it scared her more than the thought of his dying. She couldn't quite make herself touch him.

"Dad? It's me, Lulu. Yes, I'm back. I know that I said I'd never come home, but you managed to scare us all enough. So here I am. I brought Amelia. She's so excited to see her grandpa. She's with Lucky right now. But I'll bring her by later. You just need to wake up and be okay. Please—" her words were cut off by a sob.

Lulu closed her eyed, laid her head on the bed, allowed herself to cry. Her hand gripped her father's, praying that she would feel it move. When it didn't, she cried harder.

Even though her father had never been attentive, he had still been her hero, that man who could do no wrong. But now, as he lay so still, she was beginning to doubt that he'd ever be the same.

And right now, she'd settle for him alive, even if he was a little different.

"Please Dad, you have to be okay," she whispered again.

"He wouldn't want you crying on his account."

Lulu whirled around at the sound of the smooth Australian accent. She smiled through her tears when she saw Ethan leaning in the doorway. "Hey."

"Hello there, Little Sister," Ethan said, coming into the room.

Lulu rose, even as he pulled her into his arms. "He's going to be okay," she said stubbornly.

Ethan chuckled, pulled her back so he could see her face. "Well, of course he is. Luke's too hard to die from something like a little heart arrest."

She smiled again. "Thanks for that little reminder." She twisted in his arms, staring hard at her father. "Did you hear that Dad? You're going to be fine. Dying from a heart attack would ruin your reputation."

She turned back to her brother, hugged him again before sitting down. Ethan sat across from her on a little stool. "I saw my darling niece stuffing her face in the cafeteria," he commented.

Lulu grinned, thinking of her daughter doing just that. "I'm sure she is. She has this love for American hamburgers and no matter how hard she tries, our cook just can't get it right."

"I missed you."

Lulu sighed, glanced back at her father. "I know. I missed everyone too. But you know my reasons."

Ethan nodded. "I know, but aren't you risking it just by being here at the hospital now?"

"Yes, but I had to see Dad. He trumps everything else," Lulu replied.

Ethan nodded again. "What are you going to do? You can't hide in the hospital forever and even here Johnny might see you."

She shrugged, knowing that she'd battled with the very same worries since the moment the plane had touched ground. "I don't know. All I can do is let things happen the way they are supposed to. What else is there? Right now I'm just worried about Dad."

"You know, it's almost Christmas," Ethan commented wryly.

Lulu rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. Amelia hasn't let me forget it. I think that she wants to say here for Christmas."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because the longer we are here in Port Charles, the greater the chance of me running into Johnny. And that is that last thing I could handle right now. I don't want to have to explain my reasons."

Ethan nodded, rose. "You don't have to tell me twice. I understand completely. But Port Charles is a small town and you know small towns…" he let the sentence hang. Picking up his own jacket, he touched her hand. "I'll see you later. Where are you staying?"

Lulu took a breath, raked her hands through her hair. "Um, I don't really know. Maybe at the Metrocourt. I hadn't thought that far. Or maybe Wyndemere. I'll let you know."

He nodded, waved as he walked out of the room. Lulu turned back to her father. "I hope that you were listening Dad, because I can't have you dying on me. You are going to be fine. Believe that."

With a gentle kiss to her father's head, she pulled up the sheet, picked up her coat and bag and headed toward the cafeteria. Right now, she needed a reminder of how important love was.

And she knew that the person to give her that.

_Please review!!_


	6. Chapter 5

_ Thanks for the review for chapter 4. Here's chapter 5. I hope that you enjoy it! People have been wishing for Luke to be okay. I will tell you that he will be back to his cantankerous self by the end of the story. Please enjoy and review!_

Lulu stepped inside the Metrocourt Hotel later that afternoon. Lucky was with her and Amelia, carrying their suitcases. Even though they could stay at Nickolas' or even the Quartermain's, she had opted to stay at the hotel for the duration of her trip.

She glanced at her brother, took her daughter's hand and walked to the front desk. "I have a reservation for Lulu Spencer."

The receptionist looked at her log on the computer and smiled. "Yes, you have suite 240. It's one of the best." She handed Lulu the key and motioned to the elevator. "It's on the second floor."

"Thanks." Just as she turned, she saw a blond bombshell come out of the elevator. Lulu smiled and waved. "Carly!"

Carly Jax looked up from the papers she'd been studying when she heard her name called. She grinned when she saw Lulu and Amelia.

"Hey!" She set the papers on the desk and pulled Lulu into a hug. "I didn't know you were coming." She leaned back, frowned. "Why are you here?"

"Our dad had a heart attack yesterday. They're not sure if he's going to be okay," Lucky commented.

Carly's face fell. "Oh my God, I can't believe that Luke's back in the hospital." She turned to Lulu. "So you're here for him?"

Lulu nodded. "Yes, and I'm hoping to avoid contact with you-know-who."

Carly nodded knowingly. She knelt down to hug Amelia. "And how's my favorite niece?"

Amelia grinned. "I'm good! I get to come visit my cousins in their house this time!"

Carly smiled. "Yes, that's so fun. We'll have to get you and Josslyn together tomorrow or something. How about that? Ever since we got back from visiting this summer, she's been asking when we can go back."

"I want to see Josslyn!" Amelia turned to her mother, "Mommy, can we see her today?"

Lulu laughed, laid a hand on Amelia's shoulder. "We'll see, I think that you need a little nap first. We're still on Greek time."

"Well then, let's get you up to your room. Then we'll see about you coming and visiting Josslyn tonight," Carly said, reaching for one of the suitcases that Lucky was holding. "I can take them up, get them settled."

Lucky smiled. "Okay." He kissed Lulu's cheek and bent down to hug Amelia. "I'll call you later Lu."

Lulu nodded and waved as he walked back outside into the December cold. She yawned and picked up the other suitcase. "Come on, I need a nap." She glanced down at Amelia. "And so do you."

"Well then, let's get you to your room," Carly said brightly as she led them into the elevator.

And for the first time since she'd stepped foot back in Port Charles, Lulu was beginning to feel at home again.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

They didn't make it to see Josslyn that afternoon, so the following morning when Lulu was handing off her daughter to Carly's nanny, she only felt a little bit of guilt.

Lulu had always prided herself in her ability to raise her daughter with little help from others. She had been a single parent for so long that it was difficult to accept assistance. So when she was offered the chance to let someone else take over, even if it was only for a short time, she felt tinges of guilt.

Even the look of delight on her daughter's face wasn't enough to cover the underlying guilt and constant worry that perhaps she was a bad mother for wanting those precious child-free hours.

"You aren't a bad mother for letting someone else take your daughter for a couple of hours," Carly's words cut into Lulu's mental dispute.

Lulu turned, eyed her cousin sheepishly. "Was I that obvious?"

Carly laughed and hooked an arm through Lulu's. "Yes, but it just proves how good of a mother you are."

Lulu sighed, laid her head on Carly's shoulder. "I learned from the best."

This time Carly rolled her eyes. "Yeah right, three sons by three different men. My eldest son and I are just now getting back on our feet, relationship wise. I've had my own problems. Fortunately, my middle son and my daughter are stable and well-raised. But I'm not perfect."

Lulu shook her head. "No, I never said that you were perfect. Because I'm far from perfect. But you are a good mother. You were the first person I came to when I found out I was pregnant, remember."

Carly angled her head, remembering the day Lulu had shown up on her doorstep and announced that she was pregnant. "But it worked out. And you are a wonderful mother. Remember, it's not a crime to enjoy a little bit of time without kids. And like you, every parent struggles with that guilt when they do it. So come on, loosen up. Let's go have breakfast at the restaurant. My treat."

Lulu smiled. "I accept. As long as it comes with mimosas. I can't remember the last time when I had a real conversation in a restaurant that it's necessarily kid-friendly."

Carly laughed again as she led her cousin to the stairs that led to the restaurant. "No adult-friendly breakfast is complete without a mimosa…or two."

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Johnny's heart wasn't strong. It had been broken one too many times and now it was hard to heal. The first time had been when his mother had died. He'd been too little to remember much more than that she just disappeared. He didn't know why it made him so sad, why it made his heart hurt so much, but it had.

The second time had been when he'd broken up with Lulu. She was so adamant that they couldn't work, that they were just too volatile, so hot-headed to make a relationship last. No matter how much he'd tried to convince her otherwise, she had walked away.

His heart had healed a bit after that one night when they'd slept together. It had been spontaneous, something of a mistake, but Johnny had held out hope that maybe they could figure out how to reconcile. At that time, they were both broken; him from his sister's recent death and her from life in general. No matter how much he'd tried to show her that that night meant something, she had refused.

And then his heart had shattered when she'd simply disappeared without a trace.

For years, he'd searched. He'd hired private investigators, searched the world himself, and had turned up nothing. No one in her family or those who were close to her would give up any details.

So eventually he'd forced himself to give up hope that she would come waltzing back into his life. He'd forced himself to move on. It had been difficult, nearly impossible, but somehow after six years, he'd managed it.

He still had an off/on relationship with Olivia. They were both comfortable with it, with the knowledge that it wasn't something permanent. They were physically attached and somewhat emotionally connected. But neither one of them wanted to get married. It worked out well for both of them.

Especially because they were both well aware that Johnny was still very much in love with Lesley Lu Spencer.

He figured that he would always love her, always want her, always wish that something was different. Perhaps the most difficult part of it was that he didn't know where she was. He didn't know how she was or why she'd left.

He just wanted to know that he was all right, that she had a reason to leave. Johnny could honestly say that if there was one chance to see her again, he would want to tell her goodbye.

Because even if she couldn't be with him, he wanted her to be happy.

This was why it was so jolting to walk into the restaurant at the Metrocourt Hotel and see her sitting at a table in the corner.

At first he didn't realize who it was. She'd changed. Her hair was cut shorter, more styled, less tousled. Her clothes were crisper; not so much a fashion plate, but something of a professional.

She was sitting with her cousin Carly, sipping what looked like orange juice. He saw her laugh at something Carly had said. And when she laughed, he saw something familiar peek through. He saw _his_ Lulu in spite of how she appeared now.

He had the urge to go to her, to ask her all the unanswered questions she'd left behind. But something held him back. Even after all these years, he'd thought of her, thought of the day when he saw her again. But now that it was here, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Deciding that breakfast didn't sound so good any longer, Johnny turned and walked away, much in the same way she'd done six years earlier.

_Thanks for reading and please review!!_


	7. Chapter 6

**First of all, I thank all those who added my story or my profile to their updates. I hope that you continue to enjoy this story. It's a lot of fun to write. **

Breakfast with Carly had done a world of good, Lulu decided as she stepped off the elevator at the hospital. Carly always had that effect on her. She made Lulu put things into perspective.

In this case, it was that Lulu was in Port Charles for her father. She needn't worry about anything but Luke. The chances that she would run into Johnny were nil and the chances that her daughter might run into him were less than that. Lulu needed to focus her attention on her father and making sure that he improved enough for her to go home.

The problem was doing that wasn't always so easy. Lulu couldn't help but think of Johnny and how things had been before she'd left. Being back in town, she wondered what if things had been different.

But if there was one thing Lulu had learned in that last six years, it was that there was no way to go back.

She rounded the corner to her father's room, steadied herself, pushing everything else out of her mind. The door was open and Tracy was sitting in the chair by the bed. Lulu gave a cursory knock and walked in.

Tracy lifted her head and turned when she heard the noise. She rose, moved to touch Lulu's hand. "Good morning."

"How is he?" Lulu forced out the words. She didn't want to believe that her father was failing.

"The same. But the doctors say that that means he's not getting any worse," Tracy answered with a sigh. She saw the old Lulu peeking through. The Lulu who shouldered grief and pain with such a strength that would make others crumble.

Lulu closed her eyes, willed herself to stay strong. "He's going to be okay."

Tracy nodded sharply. "Oh course he is. Luke would hate himself if he went down after a mundane heart attack." She angled her head, studied the blond woman. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lulu turned, walked to the bed, touched her father's hand. "I'm just fine. Stressed maybe, but I'm fine. I have to be."

"You don't have to shoulder all the grief. That's why I'm here or your brothers," Tracy said gently. She knew that Lulu was a little leery of her motherly concern. Hell, she was a little leery of the foreign feelings, but it seemed to work.

Lulu didn't say anything and Tracy sighed. "I'll leave you alone for a little while. I'll go get some coffee or something."

Lulu waited. She wasn't going to repeat what she'd said the day before. Her father knew what he had to live for, even if he didn't always appreciate it. She didn't know what exactly to say to him.

"You are going to be just fine."

She sat in Tracy's vacated chair just as she heard a knock on the door. Glancing behind her, she saw her former sister-in-law with a clipboard in her hand. "I just needed to check in vitals," Elizabeth said quietly.

Lulu nodded, rose. "That's fine. How is he?"

"He's the same. That's just as good as being better," Elizabeth answered, making notations on the chart. She turned, smiled at Lulu. "You just have to have a little faith."

"That's the hard part," Lulu sighed, walked to the window. "Part of it."

Elizabeth laid a hand on Lulu's shoulder. "What's the other part?"

"Being here, in Port Charles; dealing with the fact that I could turn a corner and run into Johnny," Lulu replied. "I don't know if I could explain why I left."

"That would mean telling him about Amelia," Elizabeth finished for her. She understood Lulu's innate fear, having to live with it herself with her own son and his parentage.

Lulu nodded sharply. "I would never do that. He can't know."

"He won't, unless you tell him," Elizabeth replied gently, glancing back at Luke. "But right now, you need to worry about your father."

"That's what I've been telling myself. I need to focus on making sure that he gets better," Lulu sighed. She shook her head. "I need to get away from the hospital for a little while. I can't deal with this right now. I-I need to go."

She didn't wait for an answer, instead grabbing her coat and rushing out of the room.

Elizabeth smiled slightly, walking back to the bed and staring down at her former father-in-law. "You have no choice but to get better, Luke Spencer. Your daughter needs you, though she would be the last person to admit it. But she needs you so you need to come back."

Satisfied that she had done her job as both a nurse and former daughter-in-law, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the room.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu walked down the steps to the Elm Street Pier. A place that held so many memories. It was just the place she needed to visit at a time like this.

She took a seat on the wooden bench, gazed out at the harbor with its clear winter water. Off in the distance, she could see Wyndemere. It was almost like sitting on her balcony at home in Greece.

She needed a moment to clear her head, she realized. Breakfast with Carly had done her some good, but after she'd been alone in her father's hospital room, her mind had drifted to Johnny and the past.

For six years, she refused to think about what could have happened. She'd focused her attention on her daughter and on forging a new a life. Truthfully, she never had the time to think about it. She'd stayed busy and just being in Greece—half a world away from Port Charles—had allowed her to forget about what had happened.

But now, it was the closest thing to her mind.

She loved her daughter more than anything, didn't regret anything that had happened, but the idea of Johnny not only scared her, it made her wonder what could have been.

*** * * * * **

Johnny shoved his hands in his pockets. He needed to walk, to clear his head; because he obviously wasn't going to get anything done at work.

He couldn't get Lulu out of his mind; couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that she was back, after all these years. Seeing her, watching her, made him realize just how much he was still in love with her.

And it made him realize how far out of his league she'd become.

He turned toward the docks. It had become his place after she'd left. He would go down and watch the boats go in and out of the harbor mindlessly. It passed the time and allowed for ample thinking space.

As he turned the corner, he stopped dead. There she was, sitting on _his_ bench, looking out at the water.

What the hell was he supposed to do about it? Run away? Confront her? He was more confused than ever now. It took him less than thirty seconds to decide that he had to take a chance.

"Long time no see."

She jumped in response. She's obviously not expected anyone to be there. But he knew that she had recognized his voice. He watched her square her shoulders and stand. When she turned to face him, he saw that the woman in front of him was not the girl he remembered.

"What the hell do you want?"

*** * * * * * **

Even as she was turning to face him, her mind was racing. What in the world was he doing here? Why did this have to happen now? She couldn't deal with her father _and_ Johnny. And, oh god, what would happen if he found out about Amelia?

She turned sharply, her eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"

Johnny said nothing; he walked down the steps, watching her. "I didn't expect to see you back."

She scoffed. "Well, my father's in the hospital. What was I supposed to do?"

His brow furrowed. "Your dad? Is he okay?"

She shook her head. "He's not completely out of the woods yet. But we're hopeful."

"I'm sorry to hear that Luke's not doing well."

"Thanks." She gathered up her purse, deciding that she couldn't do this right now. "Now if you'll excuse me." She brushed past him, racing up the steps. His voice stopped her before she rounded the corner.

"You owe me an explanation, at least."

She stopped, turned, her face stony. "I don't owe you anything."

He walked back up the steps, until he was level with her. "You leave without a word. No one will tell me where you've gone. All I wanted to know was why."

"I don't owe you anything," she repeated harshly. "We're nothing to each other."

"That one night. I thought that it meant something to you," he replied.

"It was a mistake, Johnny. A mistake that needs to be forgotten. It never changed anything. We just aren't good for each other."

"How can you say that? I remember how we were that night. The way you were. It wasn't coming from a person who wasn't in love," Johnny said desperately. He was hoping against hope here, afraid that if she rounded the corner, he'd never see her again.

She shook her head. "We just weren't meant to be together. I'm sorry." She started to walk away.

"I'm still in love with you."

His voice stopped her again, much in the same way it had when she'd been hitchhiking alongside the highway all those years ago. She bit back the tears that threatened. She couldn't cry now, even though she was more than aware that she felt the same way.

But it couldn't be like that. She couldn't love him because she couldn't be with him. Not now, now then. Not ever.

She turned again, hating the tears that were starting to fall. He was watching her, waiting. She closed her eyes, willed herself to remain calm. "I know."

She didn't wait now. The tears were falling freely and there was no way she would be able to stand strong. She ran, blindly, away from her past. She didn't know where she was running to, but she sure as hell knew what she was running from.

She was running from her heart. She knew that Johnny was still in love with her because she felt the same way about him. But she'd long decided that they couldn't be together and there was no going back.

That was one of the lessons she'd learned in the time that she'd been away from Port Charles.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

** Thanks for reading. I must inform everyone that this story may not get regular updates as I am going to college in a few days. I will, however, update when I can. Keep an eye out for the next update!**


	8. Chapter 7

**As always, thanks to those who take the time to review each chapter. It means a lot to me! Enjoy chapter seven!**

Lulu ran until her lungs ached. She stopped, leaned against the nearest handy wall until she caught her breath. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw that she had run just up from the pier to Kelly's.

It wasn't far enough, she thought, bitterly. Nowhere would be far enough where Johnny Zacchara was concerned.

Deciding that it was as good as it got when she was running in heels, Lulu straightened and brushed back her hair. She might as well visit Kelly's while she was here. If she had time, she wanted to bring Amelia there as well.

She took a breath and stepped up to the door. Inside Christmas music was playing and the smell of food wafted out from the kitchen. Immediately Lulu felt as home. She took another breath and walked to a table.

She fiddled with the napkin as her mind ran. She wasn't sure what to do, which was a first for her because she was usually so sure. She needed to avoid Johnny for the remainder of her stay and ensure that even if she couldn't do that, her daughter would not run into him.

Because she had no idea what she would do if Johnny found out about Amelia.

"Lulu?"

She looked up quickly, a little startled. A willowy girl with short dark hair stood next to the table. She squinted up at her, trying to place her. She knew she'd seen her, but she'd been a lot younger. Then it occurred to her.

"Molly? Molly Davis?"

The girl smiled. "Yes. I was wondering if you'd remember me." Then she frowned. "What are you doing here? I thought that you lived in Greece."

"I-I do. I'm back because my dad is in the hospital. He had a heart attack. But yes, I live in Greece," Lulu replied.

Molly's eyes darkened. "Oh no, is he okay?"

Lulu smiled at the girl's sincere concern. "Not yet, but we're praying." She glanced out the window. "Um, in the meantime, can I get a cup of coffee?"

Molly nodded quickly. "Of course. I'll be right back."

Sighing when she was alone, Lulu sank into the chair. For a moment, she was thrown back to the days when she worked here as a waitress or even when she came in every morning for coffee before work at _Crimson_.

It was all a lifetime ago, she thought, not just in years, but in how much she'd changed.

"Here you go, Lulu," Molly said, setting the to-go cup on the table. Lulu glanced up, smiled and dug through her purse for cash.

"Thank you," she said quickly, laying a few dollars down on the table. "Keep the change." And then she hurried out the door.

Molly stood behind, watching. She shook her head. For someone as successful as she, Lulu sure was a strange woman.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Not really wanting to go back to the hospital just yet and as her first hiding place had been thwarted by Johnny, Lulu decided to just keep walking. She really didn't have any particular place to go. In fact, she felt as though she was here for the first time because she didn't know where to go.

It felt odd to be so lost in a place where she'd spent the first 22 years of her life.

So she walked and after a while, found herself at Sonny's coffee shop. She was half surprised that it was still standing, after all the mob fights over the years. She was even more surprised to have found her way there.

But right now she needed a voice of reason and there seemed to be no one else who could provide it.

She took a deep breath and walked inside. A barista stood behind the counter, giving the image that it was nothing more than a simple coffee shop.

If only its patrons knew what took place behind the closed door.

She headed toward the back wall, toward Sonny's office. But before she could reach it, her path was blocked.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you can't go back there."

Lulu smiled, realizing that Max obviously didn't recognize her. She stepped back to get a look at the big bear of a man who was Sonny's bodyguard. "Max, don't you recognize me? It's Lulu Spencer."

Max grinned as he gave her a once-over. "Sorry, you've changed. I didn't realize that you were back."

"That's okay. I didn't plan on being back. Is Sonny in? I really need to talk to him."

Max held up a finger, turned and knocked on the door himself. When he was allowed entry, he went inside, closing the door after himself. Lulu counted to thirty before the door reopened and Sonny Corinthos himself stood in it.

"Well, if it isn't little Lulu Spencer, all grown up."

Lulu grinned again. "Yes it is. I'm back."

Sonny angled his head, studied the woman in front of him. She was close to his heart, being the daughter of one of his oldest friends. He could see that she was still troubled, much in the same way she'd been years before.

He tossed his head, motioned to his office. Lulu followed him inside, thanking Max when he placed a latte in front of her. Sonny took a seat on the other side of his desk, waiting to speak until they were alone.

"I heard about Luke. How is he?"

Lulu took a sip of the latte, noting the sweet Vanilla flavor. "He's stable. Right now that's all we can ask for. They're still waiting for him to wake up."

Sonny nodded. "That's good, that's good. And how are you?"

She shrugged. "I'm okay. I'm worried about my father. And about being back in Port Charles."

Sonny said nothing. He'd kept tabs on Lulu over the years. Not only was she the daughter of one of his oldest friends, she seemed to warrant protection with her constant involvement by proxy in the mob. And because he'd keep tabs on her well-being, he was well aware that she was the mother of Johnny Zacchara's daughter.

"I ran into Johnny earlier today. He knows that I'm back in Port Charles," Lulu added quickly.

This time, Sonny nodded. "And you are worried that he could find out about Amelia."

"Well yes. Even if he doesn't realize it at first—which is unlikely because she's the image of him—he's not an idiot. He can do the math and he could realize that she's his." Lulu bit her lip to hold back the tears. "And if that happens, I don't know what I'll do."

"If and when if ever happens, you will have to make a decision," Sonny replied sensibly.

Lulu sighed. She'd known that that was what he'd say. And she also knew that he was right. She would have to make a choice.

And that was what scared her the most.

Lulu rose, dumped her coffee in the garage. "Thanks for the coffee. And the advice."

Sonny nodded, rose. "You're welcome. I'm sorry that I couldn't be of more help. But you know my situation. If I were in Johnny's shoes, I would want to know that I was a father."

"I know. But I was trying to protect my child. Am trying," she amended.

"And I also understand that side of the argument. In this case, there is no perfect answer. I can only wish you luck. And that you will keep me updated as to Luke's status."

She smiled. "I can do that. I better go, get back to the hospital."

"Goodbye Lulu."

She reached for the door handle. "Bye Sonny."

And then she was gone.

** Okay, so I'm not crazy about this chapter. But the whole story itself was beginning to annoy me so this chapter was mostly a transition. I hope that you will continue to read the updates. Also, please review! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, etc…thanks!**


	9. Chapter 8

Lulu decided that the only way to push Johnny completely out of her mind was to stay busy. So she divided her time between her father's bedside, her daughter and spending time with her brothers.

And before she knew it, a week had passed since she'd first arrived back in Port Charles.

Unfortunately, there was no change in Luke. He was still stable, the doctors said, but it was coming to the point where no change was nearly as bad as a turn for the worse. Lulu was getting worried. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost him.

For her entire life, she'd thought of her father as invincible. No matter the pickle Luke got himself into, he always managed to get out and when he did, it always seemed to be while winning.

But then he'd had his first heart attack and she'd realize that even heroes could get hurt.

Even then, she'd tried to convince him to take care of himself, to prevent another heart attack. But Luke was anything if not stubborn and refused to change his ways.

This was why he ended up in the same place after yet another heart attack.

"No change?"

Lulu stepped inside her father's hospital room. Ethan was sitting beside the bed, staring at Luke. He looked back and shook his head.

Sighing, Lulu slipped out of her coat, set it on the end table. "This is getting annoying," she muttered. She walked to the bed. "You know Dad, you're losing your status as invincible the longer you stay in this bed."

Ethan chuckled. "Yeah, also we're getting pretty tired of having to worry about you. So you might as well do us all some good by just waking up."

"I know what would wake him up," Lulu muttered, "a good Cuban cigar and some of Edward Quartermaine's fancy Bourbon."

"At this point, I'd be the first to offer him both," Ethan replied. He glanced up at Lulu, could see the fear in her eyes. He knew that she was facing the constant fear of their father not waking up. Of Luke Spencer dead.

It scared the hell out of him too, because he couldn't imagine that the father he'd only learned about a few years ago would be gone forever.

He put a hand on Lulu's. "He'll be fine. We have to think that."

She snorted. "Since when are you the optimist? He could die, we both know that. It's not as though he takes a care with his lifestyle." She pulled her hand away, paced the small space.

Ethan could see that she was fast approaching the breaking point. Of all Luke's children, with the exception of Ethan who'd only learned of his parentage as an adult, Lulu was the one who needed him most.

Luke Spencer hadn't exactly been the father of the year, but he had made a few efforts. Including telling Lulu to do what she had to when she'd been pregnant with Amelia.

Ethan knew that this meant more to her than any ice-fishing trip he'd taken her on as a child. Because sometimes, Luke was the only one who was comfortable to let Lulu be an adult. He understood that her choices were hers alone and didn't try to persuade her to do something different.

"Yes, we both know that Luke's lifestyle isn't exactly conducive to heart health, but I chose to believe that by some force of nature, he will pull through," Ethan replied carefully. He angled his head, studied his sister. "You've been here nearly every day for a week. You need some time off, go play with Amelia. Do something to get your mind off of the hospital."

Lulu stopped pacing, stared at her brother. She also knew how close she was to breaking, which scared her more than anything. She sighed, picked up her coat. "Fine. I'll go spend time with Amelia. Call me if anything changes."

He nodded and waited for her to leave the room before turning back to his father. "You better come back, old man. We need you here. Lulu, me, Lucky. We all need you."

As he'd expected, there was no response.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu drove mindlessly in the little car she'd rented for the duration of her trip. She hadn't thought it necessary or fair to rely on her family to take her places. She turned away from the hospital, down the highway toward her cousin's house.

Carly had been a godsend. Or rather, her nanny had. But for the entire vacation, Amelia's well-being hadn't been something Lulu had had to worry about. Her daughter was in seventh heaven spending time with Carly's little girl Josslyn.

She stopped the car in front of Carly's enormous house. Lulu wasn't sure why it always surprised her, considering she herself lived in one twice the size. But it was just the point of the matter.

Especially because she wouldn't be living in such a grand house on a private compound if it weren't for her situation with Amelia.

Shaking her head, Lulu forced herself to live in the moment. Today was her free day. She was going to focus entirely on her daughter. She pasted a smile in her face and stepped up to ring the doorbell.

Carly's younger son Morgan answered the door with a happy grin and a medieval-looking costume. "Hi!"

She laughed, hearing the shrieks of laughter from beyond the door. "Did the girls rope you into playing Knights and Ladies?"

He nodded sheepishly. "Josslyn wanted to go to Wyndemere to play, but Mom said no. So we have to settle for the conservatory. Come on in." He shut the door behind her, leading her into the living room.

The moment Lulu walked into the living room, she saw that it had been transformed to resemble the inside of a castle. Blankets and sheets were draped over furniture and one of Carly's dining room chairs served as what appeared to be a throne.

"Careful Mama! You're standing in the mote. There are alligators all around you!" Amelia shrieked from underneath one of the 'tents'.

Lulu feigned terror as she jumped aside. "Oh my, that's pretty scary." She slanted a look at her younger cousin. "Think Morgan will rescue me?"

Josslyn and Amelia giggled and crawled out into the open. "He's already slayed the dragon and squished the giant spider," Josslyn replied.

"And it was a really, really big spider," Amelia added solemnly, her eyes wide. She pointed to the fireplace. "It was for real, Mama. On that fireplace."

Lulu made a disgusted face. She hated spiders and her daughter had inherited the fear as well. "Oh, well, ick. I'm glad that Morgan was here to help."

"Mama, you want to play?"

Lulu knew that there were a million other things she could be doing, but in that moment, there was no place she wanted to be than with her little girl. She eyed Morgan. "You game?"

He shrugged. "Sure, Josslyn always gets me to play with her."

She turned back to the little girls. Grinning, she nodded. "I'd love to play. Can I be queen?"

Josslyn jumped up and grabbed a grown off a chair. "You are Queen Lulu now," she said solemnly.

Amelia smiled and hugged her mother. "Yay! It's always more fun when you play, Mama."

"I feel exactly the same way," Lulu murmured as the girls explained the game to her. She was having the time of her life.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Carly slipped into the foyer, carrying a bag of groceries with one hand and balancing a pizza with her other hand. She could hear the giggles of her daughter and Amelia from the other room. Satisfied that all was well, she went the long way to the kitchen instead of through the living room which would have disturbed the play.

Ten minutes later, all her groceries were put away and the kettle was heating up for a cup of tea. She stowed her purse and coat in the hall closet and stepped into the living room.

"Wow, this is some castle!"

Morgan's head popped up out of one of the 'tents' and he grinned sheepishly. "We'll clean it up, I promise."

Carly smiled, knowing how responsible he was. "Oh I don't doubt it. But first, are there any members of the court who would like some pepperoni pizza?"

Josslyn and Amelia tumbled out of another blanket-covered structure "Me!" they both shouted simultaneously. Carly grinned wider when she saw Lulu unfold her long legs and remove herself from the tent as well.

"Before any servants serve pizza, the castle must be tidied. The first, who can do it completely, gets first dibs on the ice cream sundaes for desert!" Carly called, watching as the little girls and Morgan scrambled to fold blankets and right the furniture.

Lulu stood, brushing lint off her jeans. She grinned at her cousin. "I got a little carried away. I was the queen."

Carly nodded slowly. "I can see that. Um, Queen Lulu, your crown's a little lopsided."

Lulu smirked and fixed the paper crown. "Figures. I'm not exactly queen material."

Laughing, Carly patted Lulu's shoulder. "I'm sure that you were fine. Don't be so hard on yourself. Can you stay for dinner?"

Frowning, Lulu glanced at the watch on her wrist. "Um, we probably should go. I mean, I've imposed on you so much already."

"No, no, you've done nothing. I've enjoyed having Amelia over."

Lulu sighed and smiled as her daughter skidded over toward her. "Please Mama, can I stay?" Amelia asked quickly.

Glancing down at the girl's pleading face, Lulu nodded. "All right, you can stay."

"She can spend the night too. I brought movies. We'll have a fine time. You're welcome too, if you want," Carly added.

Lulu frowned again. She wasn't sure if she was up to company. Right now, a glass of wine or a cold beer from Jakes sounded better than any offer she'd received. "You know what? If it's okay with you, I'll just leave Amelia here. I think that I need to be alone for a little while."

Carly nodded, hiding her concern. She wished that Lulu would just face her problems. "Okay, we'll be fine here. Come back later if you want. We'll have us some girl time."

Smiling, Lulu bent down to kiss her daughter's cheek. "I'll think about it. You, my little girl, better be good for Aunt Carly."

Amelia grinned mischievously, hugging her mother. "I'm always good, Mama."

Rolling her eyes, Lulu dropped one last kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Sure you are. Keep lying like that and people will wonder what I am teaching you. I love you Mel."

"I love you too. Now can I go find Josslyn?"

"Sure, go find Josslyn." Lulu straightened, smiled at her cousin. "Thanks for doing this. I think that I need to conquer some of my fears tonight."

"Okay, but be careful. I love you Lulu and I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I'm always careful. I have to be," Lulu replied, glancing in the direction of where Amelia had gone. "I won't let myself get hurt. I've learned my lesson on that one." She hugged Carly tightly. "I have to go."

Carly walked Lulu to the door, helping her with her coat. She waited until Lulu was safely in her car before locking the door.

She could only hope that Lulu was right. Because there was a lot of pain that could potentially break that wall around Lulu's heart.

No one was protected against pain for long.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

**I hoped that you liked chapter eight. I thank all of those who are so faithful in reading and especially those who review every time. I really enjoy getting the feedback on the story through the reviews. I'm sorry that I took so long to update. I just started college and have had more reading for classes than I know what to do with. But don't worry, I won't forget about this story.**

**So please review! They truly make my day!!**


	10. Chapter 9

Lulu stepped inside Jake's. She was relieved to see that little had changed in the last six years. The interior of the bar still had its smoky haze mixed with the yeasty smell of beer. The dart boards and the pool table stood in the same place.

She smiled slightly, thinking of all the times she'd spent dealing with her frustrations playing pool.

Then she thought of the times she'd dealt with slimy guys trying to get their hands on her while she'd been playing pool.

That thought wasn't nearly as pleasant considering her changed lifestyle.

But one thing was for sure, Lulu thought, as she strode towards the bar; she hadn't lost her taste for a cold beer. An American beer, she corrected herself, it was rare to get one of those in Greece.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Lulu Spencer, all-grown up," a familiar voice drawled out from behind the beer tap.

Lulu smiled and eased onto one of the stools. "Hello Coleman."

"What brings you back, Darlin'?"

"My dad had a heart attack the other day. We're still waiting for him to wake up," she replied quietly.

Coleman's face fell. Luke Spencer was an old and true friend. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

Nodding, Lulu spoke quietly. "Can I get a beer?"

"Of course. Coming right up," Coleman said, moving to grab a clean glass from the back counter. "So you living the high life abroad?"

Lulu shrugged. "I'm an author. Evidently I have the gift of gab. It's nice work." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure that you've never heard of my books. They're mostly hot, sexy romances."

He chuckled, pushing the glass down the bar toward her. "I'm all for hot and sexy…if it's with the right person." He eyed her as she took a sip. "How about you? You got someone to make you hot and sexy?"

She choked on her beer, setting the glass roughly on the bar. Clearing her throat, she shook her head. "No, no. I'm very single. And prefer it that way."

Coleman shook his head. "Well, you're missing out. Enjoy the beer, Lulu. It's on the house tonight."

She smiled her thanks, taking another sip as he walked away to see to another customer. Good old Coleman, she thought, still as sleazy and charming as ever.

Some things just weren't meant to change.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Johnny felt an odd sense of déjà vu when he opened the door to Jakes. He was in search of some sort of alcohol in which he planned to drown out his sorrows.

No matter how cliché it sounded for a broody piano player, Johnny felt he had no other choice.

Not after his confrontation with Lulu, he thought sadly. There would be no reasoning with her. Her coming back to Port Charles had had nothing to do with him and everything to do with family.

He was beginning to lose whatever hope he'd kept for the past six years.

Then he saw her, sitting with her back to him at the bar, sipping a beer. It was the exact same picture he'd faced just over six years ago.

And for the first time all week, he knew that he wasn't going to waste the chance again.

He had to prove to her—something, anything to make her realize just how much he still loved her.

"Some things never change."

He saw the sudden change in her body. Instead of being relaxed and unaware of his presence, she was stiff and unmoving.

She took a breath, set the bottle down with a slight tap on the bar. She picked up her purse. Then she rose, slowly, turning until she was facing him.

Her face was pale, her eyes narrowed. "I have nothing to say to you," she managed, before sliding past him towards the door. Cursing, he raced after her.

Outside in the bitingly crisp air, Lulu forced herself to slow her pace. She needed to prove to him that she was, as she'd already said multiple times, not interested in him. She was nearly to her car when he caught up to her.

Wrenching open the door, Lulu started to lower herself inside when he put a hand over hers and stopped her. "Wait," he said simply, almost pleadingly.

"Don't touch me," she growled, trying to tug away her hand. But he held strong.

"Please Lu—" he began, swearing when she tried to throw him off. "Stop." He sighed, taking her other hand and moving her away from the door. When she tried to shift, he grab both hands, holding them to the side of the car. She growled and glared at him

"Stop Lulu, you're going to hurt yourself."

"I wouldn't have to if you'd just let me go," she muttered, holding herself erect, but still. "Let go of me."

"I'll let go of you if you promise to stay here. If you promise to let me talk."

She glanced past him for a moment, sighing. "Fine. Two minutes."

He let go of her hands, careful to block her way just in case she tried to get past. She stared at him, her brows raised.

"Well…"

He took a deep breath, thinking of all the kind words and promises he'd rehearsed for the last six years. Somehow they just didn't seem relevant anymore. "Lulu, I—"

She held up a hand. "You know what? Save it. Please. Don't go through this again. I gave you my answer."

"I love you," he said quietly.

Her breath hitched and she felt the tears build up behind her eyes. "I know."

"Then why, why can't we do anything about it?"

She forced back the tears, hating how weak they made her feel. "I know that you love me. Because I love you too, more than anything. But that doesn't matter. We can't be together." She swallowed hard, knowing that no matter how hard she tried, she was bound to cry. "Now please, just let me go. We both need to move on."

He stepped aside, letting her pass. But before she could move away, he grabbed her hand. "Lulu, wait."

She stopped, glanced back to where he still gripped her hand. He pulled her closer and no matter how hard she fought it, she let herself go.

"If you say we can't be together, I'll respect it. I don't like it and would do anything to change it, but I'll respect if. If…if you let me kiss you. Just one last time," he replied, watching her. When she nodded, he leaned down, capturing her mouth.

As his mouth took hers, he was reminded of her taste. She tasted wild and free, with a little sensibility thrown in. She tasted like no one he'd ever know—or would ever know. Because no one could ever compare to Lulu.

He knew that for as long as he lived, he would always remember that moment, the instant he first tasted her.

And the last time he tasted her.

Tugging her closer, he ran his hands over her face, through her hair. He wanted to remember what she felt like, so soft and stable. Because there would never be a second chance.

Lulu closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the kiss. She forced herself to hold still, but knew that she couldn't. She had to have that flavor, that lasting tang. She took him further, basking in the fireworks that were going off in her mouth.

Never would she forget the broody and defiant piano player who made her body and mind sing.

All too soon, the world went silent. He drew back and she opened her eyes, staring into his.

He ran a finger over her lips, feasting with his eyes her tousled hair and flushed face.

She stepped back, reaching to climb into her car. She gave a small smile as she started the engine. "Goodbye Johnny."

He waved slightly, passively. "Goodbye Lulu."

She shut the door, rolled down the window. Just as she was about to pull away, his voice stopped her.

"That wasn't the kiss of a woman who's through."

She stared into his eyes, saying nothing. "That wasn't the reaction of a woman who says she doesn't want to be with a man," he repeated.

Her eyes darkened. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you won't be with me and to prove that we can't be together."

"Sex can't be part of this equation," she said quickly.

He shook his head. "It's not, but that might be the only thing to prove to you just how much I want you."

"I don't want to have sex with you."

"Maybe not, but you sure kiss like you do," he chuckled slightly.

"If I wanted to have sex with you, I would. On my terms," she replied. "I don't, so you don't have to worry about it."

He leaned down, his hands on the door of her car. "I'm not worried, but you got us both awfully worked up just a minute ago."

"If—and that's a really big _if_—it becomes a when, I'll let you know," She said quietly.

"I love you," Johnny said again, stepping back as she gunned the engine.

She glanced back at him as she pulled out of the parking lot. He had some nerve, she thought bitterly, trying to get her into bed to prove that they were good together. She shook her head. It wasn't the sex that was the problem. They'd always been great in that area.

It was everything else, she thought, everything else that mattered. The day-to-day stuff. They just couldn't' make it work.

And if he knew that Amelia, he would never want to see her again.

She nodded sharply. It was better this way. No matter how much she loved him, they couldn't be together.

It was something she'd lived with for six years. It was about time he did too.

**I hope you enjoyed chapter 9. This story is just coming right along. I've already written the next chapter and am starting on chapter 11. Please keep reading and as always, reviews are wonderful! Thank!**


	11. Chapter 10

Lulu didn't go back to Carly's. Instead, she headed toward the hotel, calling Carly from her cell phone.

She needed to be alone tonight. Added to that, there was no way to explain what had just gone on between her and Johnny. She didn't understand it herself.

She'd made up her mind. Had done it six years ago. She and Johnny, no matter the feelings, couldn't be together. Right now, she just wished that he would understand.

When she was alone, in her hotel room, she tried to put Johnny out of her mind. All she needed was a goodnight's sleep. Then she could think clearly in the morning. Deciding that that was the best medicine, she turned the light off and lay on the bed.

But sleep didn't come easy. She tossed and turned, dreaming of Johnny and the way he still made her feel.

It would be a long time before she could completely put him out of her mind.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

She woke jittery the following morning and decided to work off the sexual frustration by doing actual work. Unfortunately it wasn't manual, which would have made it that much better. Taking her coffee, she sat down to answer the dozen emails she'd received since her arrival. Just as she was finished replying to her publisher regarding the release date of her newest book, there was a knock on the door. Sighing, Lulu rose to answer it. She opened the door to a petite blond in designer heels.

"Why the hell didn't I know you were back in PC?" the blond asked, brushing past Lulu and walking to the coffee pot.

Lulu turned, shut the door, not knowing how to answer. "Well…it was a quick decision." She was surprised to see Maxie, knowing that _Crimson _kept her in New York quite a bit.

"You've been here for nearly a week."

"You know now though," Lulu replied, taking a sip of her own coffee.

"Only because I was talking to Carly and she mentioned that you were here for Luke," Maxie shot back. She eyed Lulu over the rim of her cup as she took a sip. She frowned, swallowing slowly and set the cup on the table. "Who made this coffee? It tastes like hot mud."

Rolling her eyes, Lulu motioned to the little sitting area. "I did. It tastes fine."

"Lulu." Maxie's eyes widened in surprise. "You're staying in a hotel. You have room service." Deciding to fix the issue herself, she reached for the phone and relayed her request.

"Then why would the hotel put a coffee pot in the suites?" Lulu asked pointedly.

"For looks," Maxie scoffed, walking to the door to answer it when there was a knock. After she accepted the tray of coffee and Danishes, she turned back to Lulu. "For aesthetics."

Rolling her eyes, Lulu reached for one of the Danishes. Cherry, her very favorite. Breaking it in two, she handed half to her friend. Maxie made a face and backed away.

"No, no thank you," She frowned. "Do you know how many grams of fat and carbohydrates are in one of those revolting pastries?"

Lulu pressed it on her again, her eyebrows raised now. "It's half a Danish. You'll work it off running around for Kate in no time."

Sighing, Maxie accepted the pastry, took a small bite. Lulu bit into hers, savoring the flavor. Even the Greek Baklava that the chef liked to make at home couldn't compare to this.

"So…" Maxie began, wiping her fingers off with a napkin. She took a sip of the coffee she'd poured out of the room service carafe.

Lulu angled her head. "So…"

"How does it feel to be back?"

Sighing, Lulu dropped into the chair. "Weird. That's all I can say. Strange. I was away for so long and yet, so little has changed."

"Johnny has pined for you this entire time."Maxie was quite surprised to see Lulu merely nod at that little tidbit of information. She cocked her eyebrows. Then it occurred to her. "You've already seen him."

Lulu nodded. "Seen him, cried over him…kissed him," she added. And then the whole story came pouring out. She told Maxie of the first time she'd seen him on the pier and the run-in just the night before outside Jake's.

Maxie listened without saying anything. When Lulu finished and sat back in the chair, she angled her head, as if trying to wrap her mind around everything. "Okay, so let me get this straight. You told Johnny—point blank—that you two couldn't be together. Several times in fact. And then you turned around and let him kiss you. You reacted in a way that told him you were lying about not wanting him. And then you said that if the two of you were to ever have sex again, it would be on your terms."

Lulu nodded miserably. "In a nutshell," she managed.

"That in itself is a stupid move," Maxie said quietly.

"I know. And now, looking back, I know that it was a mistake to even allow him to kiss one—even for old time's sake."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Ignore him—avoid him. Even after all these years, I still don't know how to handle it. As long as I can leave Port Charles and have my daughter still unknown to her father, I will be fine."

Maxie nodded, rising and walking over to where Lulu sat. She bent down, gathered her friend in her arms. "I will support you however I can. I love you Lulu."

Smiling, Lulu laid her head on Maxie's shoulder. Over the years, she'd proved to be a great friend and god-mother to Amelia. "Thanks for that. Now I really need to get ready to go."

Maxie stepped back, allowing Lulu to move off the chair. Lulu walked into the master bedroom and slipped a cream colored sweater over her teal tank top. Fixing her hair in the mirror, she gathered her purse and coat. She glanced back at her friend as she reapplied blush to her pale cheeks. "You know, Amelia would be just tickled to see her favorite aunt and god-mother. How about having dinner with us tonight?"

Maxie's eyes lit up. As she didn't have children of her own yet, she spoiled Amelia mercilessly. "Of course. What time?"

Lulu walked toward the door, held it open for Maxie to pass. "Would six work? I'm going to the hospital this morning and then to get Amelia at Carly's later."

"Six is perfect." Maxie glanced at her watch. "Now I really need to get to the office. Kate's going to kill me." She eyed Lulu, grinning. "Or worse: fire me."

Lulu rolled her eyes as she pushed the down button on the elevator. "She would never fire you. You are her best employee. Much better in the world of fashion than I ever was."

All Lulu heard in response was Maxie's laugh as she headed down the hall towards _Crimson's _office.

Lulu chuckled to herself as she stepped inside the elevator and waited for it to descend.

No matter how much life changed, best friends always stayed the same.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu spent most of the afternoon at her father's bedside. Luke was stable, the doctors said, but no change was a good change. And it was coming to the point where there was concern if he didn't wake up.

She was still having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea of not having her father around.

When she couldn't sit in the silent room any longer, Lulu left and drove aimlessly toward Carly's house to retrieve her daughter. By the time she got Amelia, thanked Carly profusely and drove back to the hotel, it was ten minutes to five.

"Okay Mel, we have a dinner date in an hour," Lulu said as she opened the door to their suite. Amelia ran in ahead of her, dropping her backpack on a chair. She looked back expectantly at her mother.

"Who's coming to dinner?"

Lulu smiled, knowing that seeing Maxie could possibly be better than spending all the time in the world with Josslyn. "Aunt Maxie."

The little girl's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "Really?"

Laughing, Lulu nodded. "Really. Now you need to get cleaned up first though. How fast can you get into the bath?"

Amelia narrowed her eyes. It was a game she and her mother played for things like bath time. She gave her usual answer. "I can be done before you count to one hundred."

"Really? Well, you on. I'm starting now!" she replied as Amelia ran toward the master bedroom. "One, two, three…"

"Slower!" Amelia yelled back and Lulu could hear the water running.

Knowing that she couldn't let her bathe entirely by herself, Lulu walked into the bedroom and began stripping off her clothes. Opening the bureau, she perused her options. As she settled on a peach colored filmy chiffon blouse over black slacks, she heard her daughter call out for help rinsing the soap out of her hair.

When she got Amelia out of the tub and was helping her decide on what to wear, Lulu saw that it was nearly twenty minutes to six. "Okay, Peach. We've got to hurry. Do you want to wear the purple dress or just the jeans with the blue shirt?"

Amelia pursed her lips, trying to make the decision. Knowing her daughter, Lulu handed her the dress. She would never be able to make a decision in time. Amelia tugged the dress over her head and Lulu reached for the brush to comb the tangles out of her light brown hair. It was, Lulu thought as she worked the brush through it, right in between her own hair and Johnny's.

It was just one more daily reminder of who Amelia's father was.

Sighing Lulu tied Amelia's hair back into a ponytail and gave her a pat on the butt. "Okay, we're ready!"  
"Yeah!" Amelia yelled, running out of the bedroom toward the door.

"Wait!" Lulu bellowed and Amelia stopped short, inches from the suite door. "You will walk with me, young lady!" she ordered.

Amelia glanced back sheepishly, but did as she was asked. Lulu opened the door and took her daughter's hand. Together they walked toward the elevator. Lulu liked to think of the two of them as a team.

Together, they could do anything.

**So I hoped that you liked this chapter. This story is moving along rather quickly. I hope that you don't think it's too rushed. I don't want to draw it out. I'm thinking that I can finish it in less than 20 chapters. What do you think so far? I really enjoy reading the reviews. I don't care if they are good or bad, but please review. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 11

"Okay Sweet Pea, time for bed," Lulu said, pulling up the covers and tucking them around Amelia. They were the little second bedroom of the suite, which had become Amelia's during their stay in Port Charles.

"Oh no! Not yet!" Amelia protested, tugging on Lulu's arm. "One more story, please?"

Shaking her head, Lulu couldn't help but laugh. "No. Not tonight. You've had a busy day and it's time to go to sleep."

Amelia sighed, settled herself back on the pillows when she knew that her mother wouldn't budge. "Okay…"

Lulu angled her head, studied her daughter. "You did have a fun day today, didn't you?" She was suddenly worried that she wasn't spending enough time with Amelia.

Amelia shook her head quickly, her smile bright. "Today was so much fun! I got to spend the night at Josslyn's and play all day with her and then I got to see Aunt Maxie!"

Letting out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, Lulu leaned down, kissed the little girl's brow. "I'm glad. I'm sorry that I haven't been spending a lot of time with you though. But I'm happy that you get to see Josslyn."

Amelia reached for her mother's hand, squeezed it tightly. Lulu's throat constricted. How did she get so lucky to have a child like this? "Its okay, Mama. I have had a lot of fun. And we get to spend all the time together back home. It's fun to be with Josslyn."

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Lulu said, kissing Amelia's head again. "I love you." She rose, patted the bed and tucked Amelia's favorite stuffed animal, an elephant named Daisy, under her arm.

"I love you too, Mama," Amelia replied, her voice sounding drowsy. No matter how hard she tried to stay awake, Lulu could tell that sleep was becoming her. "See you in the morning."

"See you tomorrow," Lulu said, flipping the light-switch off and ensuring that the little nightlight was on. She glanced back at Amelia one more time before walking out of the room and closing the door.

She sighed as she made her way back to the main room of the suite. All was well, she thought, everything was in its place.

It was just as it should be.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

A knock on the door caused Lulu to glance up from her computer screen. She set the computer aside and rose to answer it. Even as she opened the door, Maxie breezed through, carrying a rather large overnight bag.

Lulu grinned and shut the door. "Maxie, what are you doing here? We just saw each other two hours ago."

"I'm staying over. Sort of like when we lived together. It'll be fun," Maxie replied, dropping the bag on the couch.

"Do you have enough stuff?" Lulu asked, her eyes dancing. She managed to keep from laughing.

Maxie's rolled her eyes. "Like you know how to pack light."

"Well, I can pack quite a bit lighter than that. And that's only for one night," Lulu quipped, smiling still. She was glad that Maxie was there.

"Whatever," Maxie threw up a hand. "Besides, I brought wine." She bent down, unzipping the bag and drawing out a shiny bottle of a very expensive French wine. Holding it up for Lulu's approval, she grinned. "The perks of having international clients. I designed a very beautiful…and very little dress for a lovely French woman. And believe me, it was small. I think I used, like, a yard of fabric."

Laughing, Lulu grabbed two wineglasses and lowered herself to the couch. She tucked her feet underneath herself, she held up the glass while Maxie poured them both wine. When Maxie had curled herself on the opposite chair, Lulu spoke, "I'm glad you're here, Maxie."

"I was always here, Lulu. Even when you didn't want me to be."

Lulu sighed, "I know. And I'm sorry. I'm just so glad that I could count on you. That Amelia could count on you."

Maxie grinned. "I'd do anything for that little girl." It was said almost wistfully.

Lulu angled her head, studied her friend. Maxie was successful in her chosen career. She'd gained the Editor-in-Chief position at _Crimson_ and had foraged her career as a designer. She had managed to be successful at both and was considered the up and coming designer of the decade.

And yet, she'd never married, dated sparsely and rarely took lovers.

While Maxie didn't discuss her personal life—even with Lulu, who was one of her best friends—Lulu knew that she had regrets about the hand life had dealt her.

"Do you ever think about what it would be like if things had worked out between you and Spinelli?" Lulu spoke quietly. Maxie jumped slightly as if startled. True, she'd been startled. But it hadn't been Lulu's voice that had made her that way.

It was the question itself.

Maxie raised her gaze from where she'd been studying the label on the wine bottle. She locked eyes with Lulu, thinking of how many times she'd asked herself that one question.

"Always."

Lulu reached for Maxie's hand, which had suddenly grown cold. "Do you ever want to go back and change things?"

"I loved him, Lulu." Maxie glanced away with great interest in the painting on the wall. Then she forced herself to look back at her friend. "And I still do."

It wasn't a shock for Lulu. She'd known always, from the moment the wedding was called off. Maxie was stupid in love with Damien Spinelli. Six years ago, they'd been kids. Both had wanted different things and had had different dreams. The love was there. There was no question about that.

But in the end, sometimes even love isn't strong enough to withstand life.

"I know," Lulu answered quietly.

"I know that my decision to not marry Spinelli six years ago was a good one," Maxie began, her gaze not wavering. "I wasn't ready. We both wanted different things."

"But you have regrets."

Maxie nodded. "Yes, I have regrets. I regret that I let go of him. That I hurt him. And now we aren't together now. Because I think if I were in the same situation now, I would marry him in a heartbeat. I'm ready to settle down, to be married, to have a family."

She lowered her head, stared intently at Lulu. "You are very lucky, you know. You are lucky that you have Amelia. Despite the circumstances, you are very lucky to have such a beautiful little girl."

"I know. I think that every day. I wonder sometimes, how I got so lucky. How did I get such a child like her? She's smart, quick-witted, gorgeous."

"And so much like her father."

That statement caught Lulu off-guard. Even though she herself said that so often. She rose from the couch to pace the room. Maxie said nothing, knowing she'd hit a nerve.

Although in her opinion, it needed to be nicked.

Finally Lulu turned back, stared at Maxie. "Yes, so much like Johnny. Some days I don't know how to handle it. When she started piano lessons and took to it like a fish to water, I just wanted to run."

"But you didn't."

Shaking her head, Lulu ran a hand through her hair. "No, I didn't. But I just wanted to yank her out of those lessons. Every time she practices, all I can think of is when Johnny used to play for me."

"You do know that she will ask someday. She will want to know who her father is. And what will you do then? Lie to her?"

Sighing deeply, Lulu dropped back down on the couch. "I will tell her. I will tell her what happened. I will tell her the truth."

"And what if she wants to know her father?"

Lulu closed her eyes, feeling the tears that threatened. She shrugged. "I don't know. I honestly don't know. I can't deal with that now. Not with everything else going on."

Maxie rose, and walked to gather her friend in her arms. "I know. I just want you to realize that your decision will someday have repercussions."

Yawning widely, Lulu laid her head on Maxie's shoulder. She'd missed this, she realized, missed having a girlfriend to talk to. One who understood everything. One who didn't live five thousand miles away.

Lulu was beginning to wonder if her world would ever be completely whole. Just a week ago, she was content to live on the Cassadine compound on a beautiful Grecian island in the Mediterranean. She had her work and her daughter to keep her busy. And she was more than satisfied.

But now she was back and having to face the problems she'd run away from in the first place.

She felt as though her world as she'd known it was crumbling into pieces. She didn't know how to stop it or how to protect herself. She just wanted things to be back the way they were.

And it was scaring her more and more because she was realizing that nothing was the same anymore.

**I hope that you enjoyed chapter 11. I'm sorry for those who wanted to see Maxie and Lulu at dinner. I hope that their talk in this chapter makes up for it. Don't worry, I have big plans for when Johnny will see Amelia for the first time. As always, please review! I so enjoy reading what others think of my work. **


	13. Chapter 12

"Lulu, do you want something for breakfast?" Maxie called from the sitting room.

Lulu glanced up from where she was styling her hair and finishing her makeup in the bathroom. "I'll just have coffee and a bagel. But don't worry about room service; I'll just pick up something on my way to the hospital," she called back.

Maxie appeared in the doorway, grinning and carrying a tray. "I know that I don't have to worry about it, but I did anyway. And I know you so I already had them bring it up."

Lulu rolled her eyes for form, but reached to take the tray. "Thanks. You always know what I need."

"That's what friends are for," Maxie said simply. She reached for Lulu's brush, moving it through her own hair. "And before you ask, Mel's dressed and currently enjoying a plate of French Toast."

Lulu finished her makeup, smiled at Maxie through the mirror. "Thanks you for that too. And for staying last night. Girls night was just what I needed."

"Of course. It was fun," Maxie glanced down, fiddled with Lulu's eye pencil. "And I needed it just as much as you."

Lulu laid a hand over Maxie's. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me. I'm sorry for not being a good friend."

"No." Maxie lifted her eyes, stared hard at Lulu. "No. Don't be sorry. We all do what we need to do. You left because it was the option that was best for you. I didn't marry Spinelli because it was me. So please, don't be sorry for not being here." She turned, starting to walk out of the room before glancing back at Lulu. "Because we've all been guilty of not here."

Lulu sighed, finished her makeup and ran the brush through her hair one more time. She glanced in the mirror, deciding that today was going to be a good day.

It had to be a good day, because if it wasn't, she didn't know what she was going to do.

*** * * * * **

Lulu walked out into the front room. Maxie was sitting at the table, her blackberry in hand. Amelia, who was currently stuffing French toast into her mouth, glanced up when she heard her mother's footsteps.

"Mama! Aunt Maxie says she's taking me to get my nails done today!" her voice was happy and her eyes were bright.

Lulu raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She glanced at Maxie, "really?"

Maxie grinned and set her phone on the table. "Oh come on Lu. How many times to I get to spoil my god-daughter?"

"Please, Mama?" Amelia turned pleading eyes on her mother. "I've never gotten my nails done before."

Sighing, Lulu shook her head. "Don't you turn your eyes on me, Amelia Spencer." She turned to Maxie who was mirroring Mel's look with the added touch of a sly grin. Rolling her eyes, she threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine! Go ahead. Have a wonderful time."

Amelia broke out into a grin and jumped up from the chair, cheering happily. She threw her arms around Lulu's waist. "Thank you Mama!"

Smiling, Lulu held on. She lifted her eyes to Maxie's._ Have fun,_ she mouthed. When Amelia pulled back, she said smartly to disguise the emotion in her voice, "now young lady, you're not going anywhere if you don't go brush your teeth."

Amelia shot her mother a grin and rushed off to the bathroom. "Don't go Aunt Maxie!" she called over her shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Maxie chuckled and moved to pick up Amelia's mess. "Thanks for letting her go."

Lulu rolled her eyes. "I didn't seem to have a choice in the matter."

Placing the dishes on the room service cart, Maxie glanced back at Lulu. "I did it for you, you know."

"Really?" Lulu raised her eyebrows. "And how does taking my daughter for a pedicure benefit me?"

Gathering up her clothes and stuffing them into her overnight bag, Maxie shrugged. "I figured that you would be relieved to know that your daughter was well-taken care of while you are figuring out things." She cocked a perfectly shaped eye-brow, daring Lulu to disagree.

Lulu sighed. "You make it really hard to argue, you know." She picked up Amelia's backpack, placed her stuffed animal and her color books in it.

"Then don't," Maxie replied simply. "And plan on having her stay the night. Then maybe you'll _really_ work out things."

Lulu's eyes widened. "What?" she sputtered. "What are you talking about?"

Maxie laughed. "Oh don't act so innocent. You know exactly what I mean."

Lulu shook her head quickly, her eyes still wide."No." She put her hands over her ears. "No, I don't know what you mean. And I don't want to know."

Patting Lulu's shoulder convincingly, Maxie just smiled. "Yes, you do. You're still curious."

Amelia raced out of the bathroom before Lulu could respond. "I'm ready!" She threw her arms around her mother's waist. "Aunt Maxie packed my clothes too! She said I get to spend the night with her."

"Yes, you do. But you have to promise to be a very good girl." Lulu knelt down to look into Amelia's eyes. "Promise?"

Amelia grinned and gave her mother a smacking kiss. "Promise." She looked up at her aunt, "can we go now?"

Lulu rolled her eyes as Maxie's laughter rolled through the room. "Yes, you can go. I will call you later to say goodnight."

Maxie looked down at Amelia, who was tugging her backpack over her shoulders. "We are going to have a great time. Tell your Mama not to worry."

Amelia turned back to her mother even as she was racing for the door. "Don't worry Mama. I'm going to have a lot of fun."

Lulu smiled and handed Maxie Amelia's overnight bag. She mouthed thank you as she went to open the door herself. "Have fun," she called as Amelia and Maxie headed for the elevator.

When they'd disappeared into the elevator, Lulu closed the door and studied the room which slightly resembled a country in the wake of a hurricane. She sighed and set to work tiding up. She'd nearly finished when her cell phone started to ring from where it was sitting on the coffee table.

She held her breath as she snatched it up. "Hello?" she said quickly, praying that it wasn't bad news.

"Dad's awake."

Her eyes widened and her heart started to race. "Lucky? Is he okay? Is he talking?" the questions rolled off her tongue at an amazing pace.

"He's lucid. He's talking a little bit. Both the cardiologist and Patrick Drake are with him now. I don't know what the doctors say yet," Lucky replied quickly. "But come as soon as you can."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," she said breathlessly. She closed the phone without waiting for a response and ran for her bag. She shoved open the door and hurried for the elevator.

Her father had to be okay, there was no question about it. Because there was no way she was going to lose him without a fight.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Breathless, Lulu raced out of the elevator on the fifth floor of General Hospital. She saw Elizabeth standing behind the nurses' desk, but didn't stop to talk. Practically running, she skidded to a stop in front of her father's room.

Without even going inside, she heard voices. Not just voices, her father's voice. Breathing a sigh of relief, she leaned against the wall. Talking was good, she thought, it meant that he was lucid.

And hopefully it meant that he was going to be okay.

She took a deep breath and stepped up to the door, knocking lightly. Her father was sitting up in bed and Tracy, Lucky and Ethan were seated around him. They all looked up at the sound of her knock.

"Gumdrop," Luke said happily, raising a hand in a greeting. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" she asked credulously, stepping inside. "You were lying on death's door. Where am I supposed to be?"

"Well, I'm good now." Luke eyed his wife, "aren't I? Well enough for a little drink. You know, just something to celebrate my good health."

Tracy snorted and rose. "Yeah right. I've already asked Alice to hide all the liquor in the house."

"You wound me, wife." Luke put a hand to his heart as if in pain.

"I'll wound you all right." Tracy turned to Lulu. "Dr. Drake says there was no permanent damage to his brain—obviously—and Dr. Newton says the exact same thing we've known for years: if he doesn't change his habits, another heart attack could kill him."

"They said that three heart attacks ago," Luke reminded her, a gleeful twinkle in his eye.

"And yet, he's still here." Ethan turned to Lulu. "I told you he was too stubborn to die."

"Hard's more like it," Lucky rose, reached for his coat. "I've got to get back to the station." He turned back to his father. "I'll stop by later, just to see how you're doing." He gave Lulu a hug and slipped out of the room.

Luke turned to his second son, eyeing him owlishly. "A bit of a surprise later, eh?"

Ethan couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah right, Mate. Just the thing I want to do—to aid my father in his early death and then face the wrath of Tracy. Sorry, not a chance." He slipped past Tracy, laid a hand on Lulu's shoulder. "Hang in there, kid."

When he was gone, Tracy turned back to her husband. "Now don't you go about pestering the nurses and doctors around here," she said warningly.

Luke gave her a look of complete innocence. "Why in the devil's name would I do that?"

"I know you." She landed down, kissed the top of his head. "I'll be back later."

She also patted Lulu's shoulder while she gathered her belongings. "Talk some sense into him," she ordered and disappeared after Lucky and Ethan.

Lulu said nothing as she sat down in Tracy's vacated chair. Luke watched her as she shed her coat and set her purse on the floor.

He couldn't believe how much of an adult she'd become.

It wasn't as if he hadn't seen her in the six years since she'd left Port Charles. On the contrary he'd spent part of every summer in Greece. Not that he'd ever admit it, but Luke Spencer loved being a grandfather to Amelia.

But seeing her now, back in Port Charles and obviously worried over his health, he realized just how much she'd changed.

"You scared us all," she said quietly.

Luke broke away from his musings, studied Lulu's face and saw the truth. She _had_ been worried that she might lose him. "I'm sorry for that. But I'm back. I'm going to be fine."

"I was so afraid that I would lose you. And I don't think that I could face that."

"I'm going to be okay," Luke reiterated.

Lulu seemed to gather her wits as she sighed, smiling now. "I knew that you were too stubborn to die from a heart attack. But you were gone for so long that I was beginning to believe that maybe you weren't strong enough."

"I'm as strong as a horse and stubborn as a mule," Luke said proudly. "But it must have been pretty bad if you came all the way from Greece to sit by me in my time of need."

"We were worried," she said defensively.

"Well you don't have to worry anymore," he replied quickly, then grinned. "Where's my favorite granddaughter?"

Lulu mirrored her father's grinned, rolled her eyes. "She's with Maxie today. I'll bring her by tomorrow. She will be so excited to see you."

"Does this mean you're back for good?" Luke asked quietly. On principal, he didn't get involved in his kids' personal lives. But he had to know the answer.

Her smile slid away and her eyes became dark. She took her head slowly. "No," she said, letting out a breath. "No, we can't be here. We'll go back to Greece at some point. I can't take the risk. It's better for all involved if I take Amelia back with me to Greece."

Luke said nothing, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make her feel any differently. Lulu was anything if not stubborn. He liked to think that it was the Spencer in her. But he knew that she was very sure on this matter because there was no way she would allow Johnny Zacchara to know that he was a father.

"I'm glad that you're okay, Dad."

Luke grinned. "I'm hurt that you would even consider another option."

"You were in a coma," Lulu reminded him and leaned over to kiss his cheek. She rose and reached for her purse. "I've got to go. I have some errands to run and I need to call my publisher."

"So you're a famous book-writer now," Luke commented as he watched Lulu slip her arms into her coat.

She shrugged. "It pays the bills—and it's a hell of a lot more interesting than working at _Crimson_. And it means that I can work from home and spend time with Amelia."

"Make sure you bring her by to see me," Luke ordered and raised his chin defiantly, just daring her to disagree.

Lulu smiled, thinking of how her father had taken to being a grandfather. Although it had taken Lulu's daughter to change him because he hadn't been too interested in being a grandfather to either of Lucky's boys. "I will. Tomorrow. She needs to have fun with Maxie today."

"Okay, tomorrow then. I'll be waiting."

Still smiling, Lulu called out her goodbyes as she walked out of the room, heading toward the elevator. Within minutes, she was walking out of the hospital toward her car. She was restless, she thought. She didn't want to go back to the hotel or to see any of her family. But responsibility won out as she headed back to the hotel and buckled down at her computer for the rest of the morning.

**Please review!**


	14. Chapter 13

**WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER! (May not be suitable for children and some adults)**

** So this chapter is leading up to the moment where Johnny discovers Lulu's secret. I hope that you enjoy their reunion of sorts.**

It took a solid six hours for Lulu to work her way through the mass amount of emails and phone messages she'd acquired in the few days that she'd been in Port Charles. By the time she was able to resurface, the sun was beginning to set over the harbor.

Deciding that she couldn't do any more work for the day, Lulu shut down her computer and walked into the bedroom. She wanted to do something, she thought, walking into the bathroom. She picked up her hair brush and ran it through her hair. She was in the mood for entertainment of some sort.

She wanted to take a risk, she realized, reapplying her mascara.

It was the first time since she'd found out she was pregnant that she actually wanted to take a risk. Perhaps that was the most startling part of this almost foreign feeling. Six years ago, she was Lulu Spencer, daughter of the famed Luke and Laura. A risk-taker. She'd been known for doing things without considering the consequences.

The last time that had happened was the night her daughter had been conceived.

And then she'd gone away, moved halfway around the world, created a new image. It had been one completely opposite. She'd become responsible and dependable, not only for herself, but for her daughter. In Luke's words, Lulu had become boring.

But she'd known that she'd needed that change. She'd made decisions, even unconsciously, that had affected the rest of her life. She'd become a mother and that had been the biggest change of her life.

So now, this daring feeling was almost unnatural. She'd been so responsible for so long that she didn't know how to deal with this want to take a risk.

Sighing, Lulu studied herself critically in the mirror. Had she become boring? She didn't think so. She'd become responsible, not only for herself, but for her little girl. But tonight she was free. She was free to take a chance and do something out of the ordinary.

And that was exactly what she was going to do, she told herself.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu found herself standing outside Jake's in the lightly falling snow. She wasn't really in the mood for alcohol tonight, but a game of pool seemed just right. She took a deep breath, momentarily thinking of that night six years earlier where her life had changed the instant she'd stepped foot inside the bar.

But tonight, all she was looking for was a friendly game of pool. Nothing more and nothing less.

Her eyes adjusted quickly to the dark interior. The bar was mostly deserted, being that it was pretty early for the usual crowd. A few patrons were scattered about the room nursing beers. She walked to the bar, set her bag on the floor as she settled herself on the stool.

Coleman waved when he saw her and finished serving another costumer before making his way toward her. "Hello again Lulu."

"Hi Coleman," Lulu replied, perusing her alcohol options. She decided that a simple beer would suffice for now and waited while Coleman got it from the cooler. "My dad woke up this morning. Looks like he's going to live."

Handing the bottle to Lulu, Coleman nodded. "I'm glad. Good to know that nothing keeps my man Luke down for long."

"He'll probably be in here searching for scotch or something at the first chance," she replied dryly, taking a sip of the beer. "You know him; he doesn't put much value on his life."

"Oh, Luke values life just fine," Coleman drawled, slapping his hands on the bar. "He just likes to take risks. But don't worry; I make sure I limit him when he comes in. Tracy threatened to call the health department on me if I don't."

Lulu gave him a bland look. "Good to know that the place where I am currently drinking beer isn't up to code. If I were you, I wouldn't say that too loud." But, as if in defiance, she took another sip of her beer.

Deciding that she had enough conversation, she hopped off the stool and headed for the pool table. It was, thankfully empty; she wasn't in the mood to fight for it.

She set her beer on an empty table and picked up the cue stick. Arranging the balls in formation, she bent over the table to study her options.

That was the first picture Johnny saw when he stepped inside the bar. He stopped by the door, tempted to back away before she saw him. But he knew that there was no way he could leave. No matter what he'd said before, he'd far from satisfied that innate need for her.

So he took the next best option and walked over, grabbing a cue stick on the way. "I'll play you."

She didn't even flinch at the sound of his voice. Instead she straightened and sent him a steely look. "No thank you." And decided that maybe playing pool wasn't a good idea after all.

She set the cue stick back on its hook, picked up her beer and started to walk away. But Johnny caught her hand, tugging her back. She whirled around, preparing to let her anger spew out. She gave him a murderous glare and pulled her hand free.

"I'll play you," he repeated, an unfamiliar gleam in his eye. He handed her the cue stick, picked up his own. "I'll challenge you. If you win, I'll walk away for good. I won't bother you again. I give you my word."

She took a deep breath, wanting to tell him that he'd said that very same thing two days ago when he'd kissed her. He'd said that he wanted one last kiss. Part of her wanted to know what had changed in the last two days.

But there was another part of her that told her to take a risk. To take a chance.

And yet, there was another part of her that told her to run. To run away and to not look back.

She took another breath to steady herself. Even though he held out the stick, she didn't make a move to take it. "And if you win?"

"Then you have to take a chance." His eyes never wavered from hers. "I love you Lulu. I never forgot you. I never forgot how we were together. Take a risk."

Letting out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Lulu reached out and gripped the cue stick. "Deal."

Johnny stepped back, motioned for Lulu to take the first turn. She bent down, studied the table and angled her shot. The balls scattered, sending two solid balls into the pockets. She leaned back, raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to shoot. Johnny copied Lulu's original motion and sent a striped ball into its pocket.

They went back and forth. Lulu shot two, Johnny shot three. Until he was winning by two balls. She went to take her turn and shot only one. She took a deep breath and stepped back, knowing that it was likely that Johnny would win.

And part of her wanted him to win.

He caught her as she stepped back, twisting her around until she met his gaze. He didn't wait for an approval, but lowered his head and took her mouth with his. He lifted his hands and cupped her cheeks, pulling her closer until she was sure they were one.

Then he broke apart, dropping his hands to his side. His gaze never left her face, his eyes searching for an answer. He stepped back, still watching her.

She took a breath, feeling the rational part of her mind slide away. She'd never been rational with him. He was just too intoxicating.

He held out a hand, waiting, hoping and praying that she would take it. She made to move to take his hand and his eyes screamed at hers. He was terrified that she would walk out.

Little did he know that she wanted the exact same thing.

"Don't think about tomorrow," he whispered, still holding out his hand. Then he said something that made her realize she was lost. There was no going back. "Only now, Lulu, only tonight."

She took his hand, gripped it and stared into his eyes. "Only tonight," she repeated, vaguely remembering the last time she'd said those very words.

He said nothing as he dropped a few dollars on the table next to her empty beer bottle. They didn't speak as they made their way out of the bar, out into the cold December air.

She went to her car, knowing that he was following her. He hadn't driven so she drove them back to a place where her life had changed. She parked her car in front of a dilapidated apartment building. The winter moonlight shone over the building, making it seem like gold to their eyes.

Johnny took her hand as she locked the car and led her to a narrow staircase on the left side of the building. They walked up the stairs, waiting while he dealt with the lock. Once they were inside, he dropped her hand and tugged her coat off her arms. She dropped her bag on the floor, waiting as he draped the coat over a chair.

Then he turned to her, caught her in his arms and pulled her close. He took her in his mouth, drawing her into him. She found herself caught between him and the wall. Closing her eyes, she let herself be taken.

Johnny pulled back, watched her face as he led her down the hall toward his bedroom. Lulu could only pay attention to his face. She didn't even notice what the room looked like.

He walked to the bed, sat down and tugged her down next to him. Framing her face, Johnny drew her to him, taking her mouth. He rained kisses down her cheek, down her neck.

Lulu closed her eyes, allowing the sensations to roll through her body. It had been so long, she thought. If she really thought about it, it had been so long since she'd been with a man.

But it had been even longer since she'd been with a man like Johnny.

No man had ever made her feel the way she felt when she was with Johnny. No man had ever made her want to give herself fully.

She gasped slightly as he drew her sweater over her head, as he tugged off her bra and took her breast in his mouth. No other man had ever made her climax by simply touching her.

Opening her eyes, Lulu stared into Johnny's as she worked the buttons of his shirt. She stripped it off, running her hands up and down his torso. He was still as fit as he'd been six years earlier. Still as toned. Still as strong.

Johnny chuckled against her mouth. "Shh…slow down." He leaned back, stilled her hands. "We have all night," he whispered.

She gave a rueful smile and reached slower, fiddling with his belt. He took her into his hands again, rolling her breasts between his hands. She yanked his belt off, tossed it to the floor.

"Now," she growled. He was making her mad. He was purposefully making her crazy.

He chuckled again, biting her lip as his hands worked on her jeans. She arched her back as he tugged them down her legs. Then he pushed her down on the bed, his mouth still raining kisses down her body. He managed to shed his own jeans and covering her, felt the need rocket through them both.

He'd never stopped needing her. Not in all the time that had passed. He'd never forgotten what it felt like when she was completely his.

He tasted her, feeling like a starving man. For so long he'd wanted her, wanted her taste, the firmness of her body. He knew that he was close to losing control. And for the first time in so long, he yearned to lose that control, to just feel without thinking.

She was hot and moist. Lulu felt the power building, knowing that she didn't have any choice but to give in. Her fingers gripped his shoulders as his mouth roamed her face. When she opened for him, she felt the storm surge. She drew him inside her, riding the waves as they thundered together. Her thoughts shattered as they crested again and again.

No amount of common sense could have kept her from this moment, she thought wildly as she felt herself draw forth again. She'd been waiting six years for this feeling and she knew that she'd never find it with anyone but Johnny.

It was that need, that want, that fueled her desire and she knew that it would be a long time before it was fused out.

**Note: I confess to never having played pool before so I am not entirely familiar with the game. So please don't be angry for my description in this chapter. Please review! I so enjoy reading opinions about my work. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 14

Lulu opened her eyes slowly; basking in the warmth of Johnny's encircled arms. She wasn't ready to give up the feeling just yet. She knew that once she did, everything would be different.

Johnny watched her as she seemed to take stock of what had happened between them. He knew that never in a million years would he regret what had happened between them. But the thought of she might have regrets made him nervous. He shifted, pulling her with him so that they were facing each other.

"Please don't tell me that you have regrets," he said quietly, meeting her eyes.

She took a breath, trying to form the perfect words. "No regrets," she whispered. He sighed visibly, but didn't break her gaze.

"What happens next?"

She shook her head, fearing that if she spoke she would do nothing but cry. She knew that nothing could happen next. She'd made that decision for the both of them before. What had just happened was nothing more than a lapse in judgment.

"Lulu?"

She turned, buried her head in the pillow. Her nose was assaulted with the smell of him. She knew then that she'd never get rid of that familiar smell.

"Hey," he said, pulling her hair away from her face, "hey. It's okay."

She lifted her head, feeling the hot tears on her face. She turned, faced him, and shook her head. "No. it's not."

"Why?"

She shot up, pulled the sheet with her. Sitting up, she faced him, her face steely. "Because this can't change anything." Without waiting for an answer, she rose from the bed and started to gather up her strewn clothes.

Johnny sat up credulously. He shook his head, not understanding. "What are you talking about, Lulu? This." He made a sweeping motion with his hand, "changes everything."

Lulu stopped dressing, stared at him. "No. It doesn't." Turning away, she slipped her sweater over her head. "This was sex. Nothing more."

"You can't tell me that this was just sex. It was more than that and you know it." Johnny jumped out of the bed, tugged his jeans up without bothering with underwear. He turned to her, stared at her. "You didn't react like a woman who was just having sex, Lulu."

"I'm sorry Johnny." She shook her head again, grabbing her shoes and slipping them on her feet. "I'm sorry if I lead you to believe that it was something different, something more. Because it's not. It can't be."

"Then you're a fool."

His words should have hurt her, she realized. They should have made her reconsider her decision. But they didn't and that scared her. She steeled herself, bracing for the onslaught. Nothing he could say could hurt her. And yet, everything that he didn't say tore her apart.

She said nothing and walked out of the room, going for her coat and bag. He followed her. The tears were falling freely now. No amount of willpower could make them stop. She turned as her hand brushed the doorknob. "Maybe I am. But you're as much a fool for believing that after all these years, I'd still want you. I'm sorry, Johnny. Tonight wasn't a mistake, but it doesn't change anything." She opened the door, stared back at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered and ran out of the apartment, down the stairs.

Johnny stepped out on the little deck, watched her as she fumbled with her car door. He waited until she'd gotten inside the car and shut the door. Turning back inside, he slammed the door shut and felt rage surge through him. He balled his fist, trying not to imagine plowing it into her face. Instead, he plowed it into the wall.

This, to his disappointment, did little damage.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu laid her head on the steering wheel. Her heart was officially broken now, she thought as the tears feel in droves. She'd made a mistake. Not in sleeping with Johnny, but by allowing him to think that they had something.

She'd made a horrible miscalculation and now she wasn't sure if she'd ever really heal.

Closing her eyes in an attempt to slow the tears, she took a breath. She thought back to what Johnny had said to her. She was a fool, she realized. She was a fool for thinking that she could run away from her feelings.

Sex with Johnny had made her realize that not only was she desperately in love with him, but that she'd never stopped loving him.

While her heart wanted one thing, her head knew that there was no way that they could be together. She might as well go back to Greece and resume her life with Amelia.

She wanted to forget about Johnny, about loving him, about wanting to be with him. That was the only way to move on. She'd made a clean break six years earlier by running away. She would just have to do so again. Even if it killed her.

Wiping furiously at the tears, she fumbled for her keys, shoving them into the ignition. She eased out of the parking lot and drove toward the hotel. Only tonight, she thought with disdain. That was a line she'd fallen for twice in her life.

There was no 'only' when it came to John Zacchara. Lulu gave him her heart years ago, but left because she knew that beyond the physical part of love, they would never make it work. She couldn't believe in 'only tonight' when she wanted the rest of her life with him.

She shook her head, intent on getting him out of her mind. By the time she pulled the car into the parking lot at the hotel, she had managed to pull herself together. Now all she wanted to do was to forget what had happened and go on with her life.

Right now, it was the best thing for everyone involved.

*** * * * * **

Lulu couldn't bring herself to be alone. She didn't want to go back to the hotel because she knew that she would just wallow in self-pity. Fumbling for her cell phone, she dialed a familiar number. Through her tear-ridden eyes, she saw that the clock on the dash glowed fifteen minutes after nine.

God, she hoped that Carly was still awake.

"Carly?" she asked, as the other line picked up. "Are you busy? Because I really need to talk to you." She barely waited for a response and threw her car into drive. Peeling out of the parking lot, she headed toward a familiar house where she'd spent so many hours crying on her cousin's shoulder.

By the time she pulled into Carly's driveway, the crying has dwindled down to a few sniffles. Though Lulu was all but certain that she looked like Hell. She didn't even bother to glance in the mirror because she knew that her red-rimmed eyes would be a dead-giveaway.

She walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Carly answered it and said nothing, only opening her arms for Lulu to fall into.

Lulu allowed Carly to take care of her. It was so rare to just give the reins to someone else, she thought as Carly led her into the living room, eased her onto the couch and then pressed a cup of tea into her hands. She had been the one doing to care for so long that it was wonderful to just allow someone else to take over.

Carly said nothing as Lulu sipped the tea, her eyes close. She knew that something had happened and had a sneaking suspicion that it was related to Johnny Zacchara. Lulu had simply never been able to stay away from him. Even though she knew that they were too hot-headed and rash to make things work long-term, she was forever attracted to the brooding pianist.

It wasn't the first time, Carly thought as she smoothed Lulu's hair back from her forehead, that she wished she could take the pain away. Carly had wished that Lulu would let someone else shoulder the pain. It had stemmed back to the day that Lulu had told her she was pregnant with Johnny's baby.

But lulu was anything if not proud and refused to let others clean up her messes.

Deciding that Lulu had had enough time to sort things out, Carly took Lulu's chin in her hands and lifted her face up to her own. "Okay, so I think you owe me an explanation."

Lulu closed her eyes and took a breath. When she opened her eyes, Carly was still staring at her. "I slept with Johnny."

Carly's face was blank so Lulu was having difficulty figuring out what was going through her mind. When Carly's hand dropped from Lulu's chin, she spoke. "How do you feel now?"

"Stupid. Angry." Lulu shrugged and sighed. "I feel angry and stupid that I led Johnny on to thinking that we could have something."

"But you do have something," Carly reminded her gently. "You have a beautiful blue-eyed little girl between you."

Lulu felt the tears threaten again and turned away from her cousin to furiously wipe at them. "I know," she managed, pulling away from Carly and rising to pace the room. "That's what scares me. I can't have him know that we have her. But I don't know what to do."

"You love him."

Lulu stopped pacing, stared hard at her cousin. "Yes I do. But as I've said a thousand times over, that doesn't matter. What matters is that he never knows about Amelia."

Carly said nothing, watched as Lulu paced back and forth. "Then you've made your decision. Or rather, you're sticking by the decision you made six years ago. I get that, Lulu, but what about your heart?"

Lulu shook her head, still pacing. "It's not my heart that I'm worried about. I'm great at channeling pain and heartache into productive areas. I just hate that I slept with him because now he thinks that we could have something."

"If he knew about Amelia, the entire playing field would change," Carly said quietly.

Nodding, Lulu dropped into an armchair opposite her cousin. "Yes it would. Which is exactly why he isn't going to know."

"So nothing really changed between the two of you, did it?"

"No," Lulu replied simply.

"Then why are you worrying about sex?" Carly asked with raised eyebrows. At Lulu's bland look, she continued, "could it be because maybe you want something to be different? Maybe because you never stopped loving him and wondering what if?"

When Lulu looked away, Carly knew she'd hit the nail on the head. "That's all true. I'm just grown up enough to know that I can have everything I want."

Carly angled her head, sympathy flooding her face. "Oh Lulu, sometimes we have to hope, to dream. Otherwise, we'd all be cynical and hard."

"I can't afford to think about what if. I love him. There's no question about that. But I can't be with him. End of story." She rose, leaned over to kiss Carly's cheek. "Thanks for listening to me. I needed that. And right now, I think I just need to sleep it off."

She picked up her coat as Carly rose and ushered her to the door. "Are you sure?" she asked, helping Lulu with the buttons.

Lulu grinned and batted away Carly's hands. "Yes, mother. I'm sure," she said sarcastically. When Carly straightened, there was a gleam in her eye. "Fine, be that way. I worry about you, Lulu."

Lulu sighed, hugged her cousin. "Thanks for worrying. But, really, I'm fine. I'll be okay. I always am."

Carly nodded, lifting Lulu's face to look into her eyes. "Yes, you will. But I still worry."

"Well for tonight, you can stop. Go be with your gorgeous husband. I'll call you tomorrow," Lulu replied, opening the front door.

Smiling for Lulu's benefit, Carly nodded again. "Oh hey, I was going to ask you. But Josslyn wants to badly to go ice skating tomorrow. She wants Amelia to come with. How would the two of you like a day of fun at the rink?"

Lulu grinned. "I haven't skated in years. And Mel's never been before. I think that that would be perfect. She's with Maxie now so I'll call you tomorrow morning."

"Okay, sounds good. Sweet dreams, Lulu. And don't worry so much," Carly added, placing another kiss on Lulu's cheek.

"I'll be fine. Good night!" Lulu called as she hurried to her car. Slipping inside, she started the engine and headed toward the hotel.

She wasn't going to think about what had happened anymore. There was no use dwelling on something over which she had no control. She and Johnny were over. Period.

And nothing what going to change that.

But, Lulu thought with a smile, the idea of ice-skating made her seriously excited for tomorrow.

Some things couldn't be helped, she told herself. But playing with her daughter always gave her the change to prioritize.

This seemed like the only way to move on. She would just have to forget what had happened that night and make sure that she was the best mom she could be.

In the end, all that mattered to Lulu was Amelia's happiness.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

**Okay, so please review! I will tell you that we are coming to the part where Johnny will discover Lulu's secret. I have already written the next chapter and will hopefully have it up by the end of this weekend. Please review, though, because it makes my day and makes me want to write more. Hope you enjoyed this latest installment.**


	16. Chapter 15

**So I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter (so far) but here is the next one. I'm excited for the end of this story. I hope that you have all enjoyed it so far, because I've had a blast writing it. I'm thinking that we will have four or five more chapters after this one. Enjoy!**

The park was full of laughter, people and fun when Maxie, Lulu and Amelia walked through the entrance. Amelia's eyes were wide as she struggled to take in everything.

Maxie grinned when she caught Lulu's eye. "Remind you of all those years we spent skating here?"

Lulu mirrored her friend's grin. "Yeah. But I seem to remember Georgie being the ice princess though."

Rolling her eyes, Maxie tugged Amelia's hand. "Just because I was on my butt nine times out of ten doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it."

"Your butt, your face, you were just down on the ground a lot; I bet the view was good from down there," Lulu replied dryly. She hefted the bag on her shoulder that held their skates. "Come on, let's get laced up."

Even as Lulu knelt on the ground to help Amelia with her skates, the little girl was still wide-eyed. "Wow! This is so cool! Mommy, how come we don't have ice-skating at home?"

Lulu smiled up at Amelia. "Because, Sweetie, it's not cold enough. One day we'll go to Switzerland and go skiing."

"They have ski slopes here too," Maxie murmured, barely glancing up as she laced her own skates. Lulu shot her a warning glance and patted Amelia's knee.

"There, all set. Now just let me get mine on and we'll see if Aunt Carly and Josslyn are here."

"There they are!" Amelia's hand shot out, pointed across the rink as her voice rose excitedly.

Lulu lifted her hands, waving until Carly saw her. Then she glanced down at Amelia. "Perfect timing, uh?"

Amelia teetered a little on her skates, but nodded, slipping her mitten-covered hand into her mother's. "Then can we skate?"

"Of course we can, Mel!" Maxie exclaimed. "That's why we're here, after all."

"Hi all," Carly said, a little breathless as she and Josslyn hurried toward them. "How are we this morning?" she directed the question at Lulu who managed to successfully dodge it by dropping to her knees to lace up Josslyn's skates.

Maxie frowned, catching Lulu's deliberate action and Carly's loaded question. "Are we ready then?" she asked when Lulu helped Josslyn to her feet.

She nodded and reached for Amelia's hand. "Come one, Mel. I'll give you a lesson in ice-skating. We probably shouldn't trust Aunt Maxie."

"Like you're any better than I am," Maxie said with a snort, grinning down at Josslyn. "She thinks she's so good. We'll show her."

"Amelia inherited the Spencer's great sense of balance," Lulu answered loftily as she stepped foot on the ice. She waited until Amelia had taken a step. "See Mel, it's not that hard. Come on, we'll go slow."

Amelia frowned as she watched Josslyn take a weightless step onto the ice and skate away as though she'd been born on it. "No! Mommy! I want to skate with Josslyn!"

Lulu met Maxie's eyes and managed to hide a grin. "Well Honey, Josslyn's skated before. This is your first time. We should probably go slowly for now."

Amelia shook her head stubbornly. "No," she pouted.

Carly arched an eyebrow, grinning at Maxie. "And the Spencer's tenacity as well, evidently."

Lulu sighed, glanced up as Josslyn lapped them. "All right, go ahead. But stay where we can see you. There are a lot of people here and we don't want to lose you." She looked at Carly who narrowed her eyes at her own daughter.

"Same for you, Josslyn. And go easy on Amelia. She's never been skating before," Carly added and waved the girls away. "They'll be fine," she said to Lulu, who watched Amelia take to skating like a pro. She knew it was selfish of her, but her heart tweaked just a little with the realization that her baby girl was growing up.

Maxie waited until the three of them were halfway around the rink. As she skated, she turned her head, fixating on Lulu with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, Lu. Spill. What was Carly talking about when she first got here?"

Carly frowned, her eyes narrowed. "Lulu!" she admonished. "You didn't tell your best friend what happened?"

Lulu shrugged and skating a few steps ahead. "It hadn't come up," she called back over her shoulder.

Maxie looked between the cousins as she tried her hardest to stay on her feet. It just wouldn't do if the editor-in-chief of _Crimson_ magazine ended up with a face-plant. "Carly," she reasoned, "you tell me because obviously, Lulu here isn't saying much."

Carly leaned closer to Maxie as they made the first turn in the rink. "Lulu showed up at my house last night in tears because she slept with you-know-who."

Maxie's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "What?" She could barely make out the word.

Carly nodded knowingly. "She was angry at herself for being stupid and for letting him think that they still had something."

"Lulu!" Maxie hissed, glaring at her friend. "And you didn't feel it necessary to tell me why?"

Lulu turned around, skating backward as she faced them. "Because it was a stupid move on my part—again—and I won't do it again. There's nothing between us and despite Amelia, we will never be together. It just isn't in the cards," she added sadly.

Maxie narrowed her eyes, taking a bigger step to meet Lulu's stride and still praying to whatever god was listening to ensure that she stayed upright. "Okay, Lulu. Be a girl for a minute. How was it?"

Carly snickered and flanked Lulu's other side. "Yes, give us the details."

Lulu frowned at Maxie and looked at her cousin helplessly. Defeated, she threw up her hands. "It was spectacular. Fireworks. Same as it's always been."

Satisfied, Maxie closed her eyes, basking in the glow for a minute. She vaguely remembered the one-night stand she'd had with Johnny back when he and Lulu had still been dating. She wished that she'd experienced fireworks with him. But they obviously weren't meant to be together.

Lulu shot a side-glance at her friend. "Quit making that face. If you want him so bad, go get him."

Maxie opened her eyes slightly, eyed Lulu. "No. Nothing we experienced could be compared to fireworks."

"That settles it," Carly said, "you and Johnny are meant to be together."

Lulu shook her head quickly. "No, not happening. Now come on. Quit talking about me." She raced ahead, through a glance over her shoulder. "I bet that I can lap the both of you twice. I may have lived in a warm climate for the past six years, but I haven't forgotten how to skate!"

Maxie and Carly looked at each other, grinned. "You're on!" they said in unison.

And skated ahead, intent on taking the win.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Breathless, Lulu dropped onto the bench. Blowing on her gloved hands to warm them, she grinned as Maxie dropped next to her. "You did well, Jones."

Maxie blew her bangs out of her eyes and mirrored Lulu's grin. "I did, didn't I? I only fell twice."

"And my girl took to the ice like she's been on it her entire life," Lulu said proudly. She craned her neck to see Amelia and Josslyn out on the ice.

Maxie smiled and followed Lulu's gaze. The girls were twirling like ballerinas. Like ice-princesses. "She did do just that." Then she sent a slanted gaze at Lulu. "And if you lived here all the time, Mel could skate all the time. She could even join the club at the rink."

Still smiling at the sight of her daughter's enjoyment, Lulu shook her head quickly. "Maxie," she said warningly.

Maxie shrugged. "It's true."

"Be that as it may, as soon as I'm sure that my dad is out of the woods, Amelia and I are back on a plane to Greece," Lulu replied. She turned her head, looked at Maxie. "I'm sorry."

Maxie shook her head, "no. Don't be sorry. I get it, but I can always hope."

"Sometimes I wish that I could come back," Lulu said softly. She turned away from Maxie's gaze. "Sometimes I think of how my life would be if I'd never left."

"Do you wish that you'd never been pregnant?"

Lulu whipped her head around, shook it. "No. No, I don't regret my daughter. But I do regret who her father is. And I regret that I had to leave in order to raise her."

Maxie wasn't sure what to say. "Lulu—"

She shook her head quickly. "No, don't worry about it. I'm just venting. I still feel ridiculous for what happened last night."

Before Maxie could respond, Carly and the girls were walking toward them. "I have to little girls who are frozen through. I think some hot cocoa is in order."

Maxie rose to catch Amelia as she stumbled in her skates. "Hi sweets, how was it?"

Amelia looked up at her god-mother, her cheeks red, but her grin wide. "It was so much fun! I want to go again after the hot chocolate."

Carly smiled at Amelia, sending a worried glance at Lulu. "Hey, are you alright?"

Lulu shook her head, jumping up as she spoke. "I'll go get us the hot chocolate." She hurried away as if she were being chased.

The problem was, Maxie was almost certain that she _was_ running from something. And Maxie would bet her next pay check that the thing Lulu was running from was none other than her past at large.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu blew at a breath as she waited in line at the concessions stand. She knew what Maxie was thinking. Maxie thought that Lulu was running. In truth, Lulu felt that she _was_ running. But the race had only begun when she'd come back to Port Charles.

In Greece, Lulu was allowed to be a different person. She was mistress of the Cassadine compound, an award-winning author and a good mother. But in Port Charles, she was the same old Lulu Spencer, daughter of the famed Luke and Laura, who had one of the sweetest romances in recent history. She was headstrong and compulsive. She was the mother of Johnny Zacchara's child.

So maybe Maxie was right. Maybe Lulu was running from something. But there was no way to let it catch up with her.

Because if it did, her life as she knew it—and the life of her child—would be forever changed.

"Can I help you?" the barista behind the counter asked as Lulu blew on her hands to warm them.

Lulu smiled and pulled out a twenty from her pocket. "Can I get five hot chocolates, please?" She stepped aside as her order was prepared and pulled out her cell phone from her pocket.

That was the picture Johnny saw when he stepped through the park entrance. Lulu with her long wool coat covered in just a dusting of snow. Her blond hair was pulled back into a neat tail at the nape of her neck. She was perfectly delicious, he thought as he took a step towards her.

"Lulu," he said, quietly, low enough for her ears only when he was close enough. Her head whipped up as her phone fell to the ground. Her mouth formed a perfect O in shock.

"Johnny," she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. "What are you doing here?"

"I always walk through the park on my way home. I saw you when I was near the rink."

"I think we said everything we need to say already," She said stiffly, glancing behind her worriedly.

"We need to talk, Lulu. I love you. I don't get what you don't get. We can work things out, I promise. I—I just can't lose you again," He added, his voice cracking at the end.

She shook her head. "Not here. Not now. Not ever. I'm sorry, Johnny." She smiled at the barista as her order was placed on the counter. Turning around, she stepped around him. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

"Mommy!"

And then her world came to a crashing halt.

**So, this is me grinning wickedly. Sorry for the cliffhanger but I originally had written more for this chapter but it was getting too long so I split it into two chapters. I should have the next chapter up in the next few days. This story is slowly wrapping up, I'm sad to say. Now, please review! I love hearing what my readers think of my work and they truly inspire me to write more!**


	17. Chapter 16

Lulu whipped around, the drink carrier crashing to the ground. Johnny tried to catch it before he really knew what was going on.

"Mommy!" the voice called again. Lulu couldn't bring herself to move. It was as if everything had suddenly become slow-motion.

"No!" she heard herself yell. She saw her daughter coming towards her. And she saw Johnny following her gaze. "No."

Amelia raced up to them, breathless. "Mommy," she said again, not paying attention to anyone but her mother. "Josslyn and I are hungry. We want a pretzel."

Lulu couldn't hear the request. Her blood was rushing in her ears. Everything in her life as it was now was changed, she thought wildly. She knelt down, ignoring Johnny for a moment. "Amelia."

"Amelia!" Maxie called as she raced up to them. And came to a skidding stop when she saw the scene. "Amelia, you can't go running off like that." She glanced between Johnny, who was staring intently at Amelia and Lulu who wore a horrified look on her face.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's go back to the bench. We'll go to Kelly's and get some food in a little while," Maxie put her hands on Amelia's shoulders and steered her away from the wreckage scene.

Johnny felt like he was in a dream. He _knew_ that child, he thought wildly. He didn't even know what to think, let alone what to say. He couldn't even comprehend what had just unfolded in front of him. It was too much. He could only stare after that perfect little human being in disbelief.

Lulu took a breath, turned her head and stared at the dark haired man in front of her. "Johnny—"

He cut her off with a shake of his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I—"

"No. Don't make any more excuses. Just tell me one thing." He raised his head to stare her hard in the face. "She's mine, isn't she?"

Lulu could do nothing but nod. She felt the tears burn at the back of her eyes as she tried to pick up the pieces of her perfectly crafted life.

"I have a daughter," Johnny said as if he still couldn't believe it. His eyes narrowed, shot daggers at Lulu. "Why didn't you tell me? Damn it, why?" His voice rose in anger.

Lulu glanced around at the busy scene in front of her. "This isn't the place," she said dully. "I don't want to discuss this here."

He thinned his lips. "No. You are not running away from this. Not now. Not after what I just saw. I want an answer, Lulu. I want to know why you ran away with my child."

Her breath hitched. "Okay, I'll tell you. But please, can we go somewhere else?"

He grabbed her arm, more roughly then he'd intended. But at that moment he didn't care. All he could think about what the dark-eyed little girl. His little girl. He pulled out of the park, walking quickly to his shop which, fortunately, was just down the street.

Lulu struggled to keep up with Johnny's quick stride. But she didn't complain. At this point, he owned her nothing. Not after what she'd done to him.

Pushing open the door, he pulled her inside. "Okay, so talk," he said, his voice short and clipped. "Why did you leave and not tell me that you were pregnant? I'm assuming that it was that last time."

She nodded. "Johnny, I panicked. I didn't want to be pregnant. But I couldn't make that choice to have an abortion. Not again," she whispered, knowing that he was aware of her past.

"You should have told me. I had a right to know. She's mine, too," he shot back, pacing the small office.

"I didn't tell you because I knew that you would do the honorable thing."

"Oh and that would have been so bad," he replied sarcastically. He couldn't even look at her; all he saw was a haze of anger.

She shook her head, hating the tears that fell. She felt weak, knowing that Johnny wouldn't—no, he couldn't—feel any pity. "No. It's not. But _we_ couldn't be together. The fact that I was pregnant changed nothing of the fact that we didn't have a future."

"You were pregnant. With my child. I don't care if you think we never had a future. That doesn't matter. What matters is that you kept my child away from me for five years."

She didn't even bother to fight the tear now. It was no use. "I know that you don't believe it, but I'm sorry. I want you to know that I struggled with my decision from day one. But then years passed and not telling you just seemed easier. Then we could both go on with our lives."

He looked at her, not really seeing the woman he loved. All he could think of was how she had betrayed him. "_You_ could go one with your life. I searched for you, everyday for more than three years. I hired people to search. I questioned your family. But there was nothing. It was as if you had disappeared off the edge of the Earth."

She closed her eyes, suddenly tired. It was as if all the weight she'd been carrying on her shoulders for so many years was bearing down even harder. It was as if she couldn't breathe. "I understand if you hate me. I hate myself right now. I made a mistake. But all I wanted was for my daughter to have a life that didn't involve paying for_ my _mistakes." She turned away and for a moment Johnny was afraid that she was going to bolt out the door. But then she turned back, her eyes rimmed in red. "I'm sorry Johnny. I-I can't go on with this façade any longer. If you want to be a part of Amelia's life, you can. But I can't deal with this right now."

"Lulu—"

She held up a hand, stopped him midstream. "I'm not going to run away. I'm going to back to the park, go to lunch with our daughter. I need time to think. Everything I know has been radically changed. I'm known that this day could come, but I never expected it now." She gave him a long look and walked toward the door. But as she opened it, she turned back. "For the record, I never stopped loving you. Every time I look at Amelia, I see you."

Johnny watched her trudge back toward the park. Everything was whirling now. He didn't know what to do next. It was all so surreal. One minute he was mourning the loss of the love of his life and the next he was finding out that he had a daughter.

One thing was for sure, he still loved Lulu. And at this point, he would do just about anything to prove it to her.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu was almost to the park when she heard her cell phone ring from inside her purse. Stopping, she fished it out just in time to answer. "Hello?"

"_Lulu, it's Maxie. I just wanted to tell you that we're at Kelly's now. The girls were hungry and we weren't sure how long you'd be."_

"Okay, thanks. I'll walk over there now," Lulu replied, glancing at her watch. It was almost one in the afternoon.

There was a long pause and Lulu was sure that Maxie had hung up. But then her friend's voice spoke again, _"Are you okay, Lulu?"_

Lulu took a breath, still feeling constricted. She wasn't quite sure how to answer the question. "I don't know. It's still so surreal. How's Mel?"

"_She's fine. She didn't even realize what she'd walked into. Right now she's digging into a hamburger. I swear, you are going to have to either get an American-born chef or just move back to PC because this girl certainly loves hamburgers."_

Lulu laughed despite herself. She knew that right now, she needed to laugh. "We'll see. My entire life just shattered so I'm not sure what my next move is. I'm almost to Kelly's. See you."

She clicked the phone shut before Maxie could answer. She still felt hollow inside. Her eyes were scratchy and her body felt heavy. All she wanted to do was climb in bed, pull the covers over her head and pretend that nothing had happened.

But the realist in her knew that that just wasn't possible. Sighing, she willed herself to be steady as she reached for the door of Port Charles' mainstay diner.

"Mommy!"

Lulu looked up, smiled at the sight of her daughter stuffing her face. "Slow down, Sweet Pea. That hamburger isn't going anywhere." She forced the emotion out of her voice. There was no use upsetting Amelia.

Amelia grinned as she scooped up ketchup with a French Fry. "It's so good, Mama."

"I can see that. Do you have enough ketchup?" She failed to suppress the weary sigh as she sank into a vacant chair.

"She's used practically the whole bottle," Carly commented, studying her cousin. She could see that Lulu was forcing herself to stay together, but that the breaking point was near.

"Mr. Mike brought me my own bottle," Amelia said solemnly, taking a sip of her soda.

Lulu laid a hand on Amelia's shoulder, smiling tiredly. "I'm glad that you are enjoying it, sweetheart."

"Aunt Carly said that I get to play with Josslyn again today," the little girl said brightly, flashing a grin at her cousin. Josslyn matched it as she took a dainty bite of her own hamburger.

Frowning, Lulu glanced at Carly then back at Amelia. "Oh no, you and I—"

"Viola will be by to pick up the girls any minute," Carly said, stopping Lulu in midsentence. She sent her a look that dared her to contradict.

Lulu sighed, painting on another smile for Amelia's benefit. "That sounds perfect. I'm sure that you will have a wonderful time."

"And there she is," Carly said loudly as the bell above the door jingled when the Nanny stepped inside. "Are you two finished?"

Josslyn nodded and dropped the rest of her burger on her plate. Maxie handed her a napkin and she cleaned off her face. Amelia did the same but not before taking one last bite. "That was so good," she said with relish.

Maxie laughed and pulled a moist wipe out of her purse to wipe off her god-daughter's face. "You certainly enjoyed it. And I know that you are going to have a great time with Viola and Josslyn. Why don't you give your mother a hug?"

Amelia jumped up and threw herself into Lulu's arms. Lulu caught her little girl, squeezing her tightly as her cheek brushed the wispiness of Mel's hair. She wanted to believe that she still had her daughter to herself, but knew that everything was different now.

"I love you baby-girl," she whispered as Amelia squirmed to get free.

When she let go, Amelia rushed to get her coat and gloves. With a last grin to her mother, she gripped Viola's hand as they walked out of the restaurant toward Carly's house.

When the door was closed and the children out of sight, Carly and Maxie turned to Lulu. "You are going back to the hotel and you are going to get into bed and sleep for a little while. You are exhausted. I won't have you arguing with me," Carly added as she slipped into her own coat.

For the first time in her life, Lulu had nothing to say. She only nodded and rose, allowing herself to be bundled into Carly's car for the short ride back to the hotel.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu let herself be babied as Carly and Maxie propelled her to her suite. Carly went to ready the bed as Maxie drew off Lulu's coat. It scared Maxie to see how exhausted Lulu was. She'd never seen her that submissive before.

Johnny broke more than her heart, Maxie realized as she helped Lulu into the bedroom and into the bed. No, he'd basically shattered her whole world. Everything Lulu knew to be true was different.

Lulu sighed as she lay back against the pillows. Carly had drawn the shades so that the winter sun stayed out. It was better that way, Lulu thought, because right now all she wanted to do was be in the dark.

Her whole body ached, as though she'd been through an accident or a war. It was a war of sorts, she thought wearily. It may not have been a physical battle, but the emotional battle had cost her a great deal. She was beginning to wonder if she'd be able to salvage any little piece.

"Turn off, Lulu," Carly said softly.

Lulu glanced up at her cousin's worried face. She knew that both Maxie and Carly were worried about it. Hell, she was worried about herself. She still felt as if she was outside her body looking in.

All she could do was nod because she was afraid that if she said anything, the tears would fall and that they wouldn't stop.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Maxie said quietly, running a hand down Lulu's hair. She gave a small smile before disappearing out of the room.

"Sleep now. Forget everything. You'll feel better if you just forget for a while," Carly replied as she bent down to lay a cheek to Lulu's. "I love you, Cousin. I'm here, if you need me."

And then she too disappeared out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Lulu closed her eyes. They felt gritty, as though they were filled with sand. She knew that she needed to follow Carly's advice and just forget for a while. This bed was the closest to a hole in the ground that she would ever find, she thought ruefully as sleep began to claim her.

She allowed herself just fade away, knowing that she would think more clearly when she was rested.

But even then, she didn't get the mindless sleep she wanted as her dreams were plagued with memories of every choice she'd made.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

** So I will admit that this chapter had me tearing up at some points. I hope that you enjoyed it. All I can say is that everything is looking up from this point on. **

**Even though I'm not a huge fan of Lulu and Johnny, this particular story **_**will**_** have a happy ending. Now that Johnny knows why Lulu spent the last few weeks pushing him away, he will do anything to convince her that now more than ever, they love each other. **

**As always, please review! Reviews brighten my day. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, etc. But please, tell me something!**


	18. Chapter 17

"I've never seen her like that," Maxie said when Carly walked back into the main room of the suite. "I've never seen her move so slowly or act so submissively."

"He broke her," Carly said sadly. "He completely shattered her into a million pieces. And while Lulu is a fighter, I'm not sure if she'll be able to put everything back together again."

"What do we do now?"

Carly shrugged and shook her head. "Give her time. Let her sleep. Believe me, sleep is the best thing for her now."

"I can't just sit here," Maxie said quickly. To emphasize her point, she paced the room.

"I'll stay," Carly replied simply. "The girls are fine with Viola. You can go if you want."

Maxie shook her head. "I'm going all right. I'm going to chew out Johnny for hurting my best friend. Lulu stood up for me so many times and its time I return the favor."

"Be careful," Carly warned. "Johnny had a shock too."

"He can't blame her for her choices," Maxie replied pointedly as she reached for her purse. "I'll be back in a little while." She reached for the door knob, glancing back at Carly. "And don't worry; I'm not going to chew him out. I'll just open his eyes a little,"

Carly shook her head with a slight smile. Lulu was very lucky to have a friend like Maxie who would go to battle for her, she thought. Despite her warnings, Carly herself was ready to fight for her cousin.

Maxie had just beaten her to the punch.

Sighing, she dropped into a chair and picked up a magazine. She was prepared to wait as long as Lulu needed.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Johnny sat in his office, his head cradled in his hands. He still couldn't believe it. It just didn't seem real. But it was, he thought, he was a father. Lulu had given birth to his child five years ago.

Part of him wanted to hate her; wanted to hate the fact that he'd been shut out for so long. But he knew that she had done it for a reason.

He just wished that he understood her reasoning.

Would it have been so bad, he questioned, for him to know about Amelia? He would have been a good father. Despite his own childhood and parentage, Johnny knew that he would do everything in his power to be a good father.

He couldn't hate her, he thought. Johnny knew that even after all the years had that gone by, he still loved her. And now that he knew they shared a child together, he wanted her more than ever.

But now, he was afraid that she would run even further away.

Johnny was certain that she would allow him to be a father. She'd already said that he was welcomed to play a role in Amelia's life. But she hadn't said anything about what this change meant for them; for their relationship.

He loved her. There was no question about it. No woman in the years since had ever made him feel the way she made him feel. It was as if they were two halves to a whole, however cliché that sounded.

Standing up, he walked to the window and looked out at the snow-covered ground. He was prepared to do anything to get them back. He wanted the whole package. It was a given that he wanted the opportunity to be a father, but now he knew that he wanted the opportunity to be Lulu's husband.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Maxie parked her car in front of Johnny's auto shop. She killed the engine and stepped out, slamming the door in her haste. She was more than a little pissed, she thought to herself as she walked toward the door.

She still couldn't believe how Lulu had reacted to her confrontation with Johnny. She acted as though she'd just been through war or some debilitating illness. It was as if Johnny had just broken her into a million tiny pieces.

She reached for the knob and shoved the door open. Johnny was standing at the window across the little office. He turned as she stepped inside.

"Maxie—"

She shook her head and held up a hand. "I came here to yell at you for the way you treated Lulu," she said calmly, forcing herself to stay collected.

He frowned, stepped away from the window. "Treated Lulu? I didn't do anything. She's the one who lied to me for six years."

"I just came from Lulu's suite at the Metrocourt. She looked as though she'd been through war. Her movements were wooden, she was barely speaking. Right now, she's sleeping it off. You broke her."

"I didn't _do_ anything," he protested, but she cut him off again.

"That's just it. You didn't do anything. You didn't ask her why she did what she did. You just accused her of lying to you. You just bit her head off." Maxie paused, blew hair out of her eyes. "She knows that her decision was wrong. But at the time, it was right. Can you really blame her? She never wanted to get pregnant. But she did the right thing by having the baby and raising it."

"I would have helped her. I wished that I could have been there, raising Amelia with her."

Maxie shook her head. "That's just it. She didn't let anyone help her. Not me, not her family, no one. She's done everything on her own. She's dealt with her mistakes. But now, now everything she knows is different and she doesn't know what to do. You claim to love her, but then you attack her for lying."

"She kept my child away from me for five years."

Maxie nodded, studying him. "I know. She knows that she was wrong to lie. It was hard for her." She smiled, thinking of her god-daughter. "Amelia plays the piano. Her teacher says that she has a great deal of natural talent." She raised her eye-brows. "And where do you think that comes from? Not Lulu, that's for sure."

"I just can't believe she waited so long. I've missed out on so much," Johnny said sadly.

And it was then that Maxie realized that Johnny loved Lulu; that he wanted to not only be a father, but to be a family.

"You still love her? Even after all she's done."

He nodded. "More than life itself. Maxie, I want both of them. But I don't know how to convince Lulu of that. She said that I am free to be part of Amelia's life from now on, but she didn't say anything about us."

"That's because she's convinced that you two won't work."

"How can I convince her otherwise?"

"Tell me what you just told me," Maxie said, her heart hopeful again that her friend would still have the chance to be happy. She walked toward him, laying a hand on his cheek and staring into his eyes. "And for the record, you may have missed the first five years of Amelia's life, but you're just in time for the rest of it. Be happy with what you do get to experience; don't dwell on what you missed."

"Do you really think I have a chance?"

She smiled now, reaching for the door. "I really do. And I will be first in line to give Lulu a little nudge. But she's really hurting right now. So it may take some time."

She stepped outside and shut the door behind her. As she climbed into her car and started to drive away, her mouth curved into a smile.

There, she's done her part as loyal friend. Now it was up to Johnny to prove his love. And in the end, it was up to Lulu to open her eyes and her heart.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

When Lulu awoke, the world outside her window had long grown dark. She sat up, struggling at first when she couldn't remember where she was.

But then it all came back to her. The skating rink, Johnny, Amelia, her lie.

She wanted to roll over and forget about everything, but the adult in her knew that that just wasn't possible. Setting her face, she pushed back the blankets and threw her legs over the edge of the bed.

She forced herself to rise and walk into the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror, she saw the same woman she'd always been. Yet, she felt so different. She washed her face and reapplied her makeup. She needed to be ready to do damage control.

When she walked back into the bedroom, she stripped off her clothes and pulled fresh jeans and a sweater from the wardrobe. She finished dressing and ran a brush through her hair. She wasn't in the mood to do anything else.

She could hear the murmur of the television when she opened the door and started for the main room. Carly and Maxie were sitting on the couch, staring mindlessly at the program on the television.

She cleared her throat to announce her entrance and walked to the side counter to pour a glass of water. The water cooled her flaming throat as both women turned off the television and jumped up to face her.

She eyed them over the water glass. She knew that they were worried about her. But she was Lulu Spencer. She dealt with her issues. She was strong and despite how she had seemed after the confrontation with Johnny, she was back in full force.

"How are you?"

Lulu set the glass down on the counter. "I'm tired, but other than that I'm fine. I'm ready to do damage control."

"Give him a chance, Lulu," Maxie said softly. She glanced at Carly who gave a small nod. "He loves you," she added.

Lulu sighed, bit her lip. "I know. And I feel the same way. But we have a lot to talk about; a lot to deal with. I know we won't be walking down any aisle for a while."

"But you think that that's a possibility?" Carly arched an eyebrow. She could see that Lulu was steeling herself for a fight. "You think that you could possibly marry him someday."

"Yes, I do. But like I said, there's a lot to deal with. There's a lot involved. Not to mention Amelia," Lulu replied, then glanced at her watch. "Speaking of which, have you talked to Viola? I mean, Amelia should probably come home soon."

Maxie shook her head. "Amelia's fine. She's not going anywhere until you go and talk to Johnny. You need to sort out your life before you spring any of this on your daughter."

Lulu sighed, knowing that Maxie was right. "Fine, I'm going now. You two don't have to stand guard anymore. I'll be fine." She walked to the chair where her coat was draped and slipped her arms into it.

Carly and Maxie got their own coats on and gathered their things. Carly walked up to Lulu, pulled her close in a hug. "I believe that you can work this out, Lulu. I'm here for you if you need me."

Lulu smiled. "Thanks. But I'll be fine. Things are actually looking up. We'll just have to see how Johnny feels."

"He loves you," Maxie said, hugging Lulu. "Don't hate him for it. He's mad that you lied, but I think he understands…a little, anyway."

Lulu raised her eyebrows, "I'm going to pretend that you didn't go and interrogate him."

Maxie grinned ruefully. "Guilty. But you were seriously wiped. Now go. Get your life sorted out."

Lulu nodded and walked out of the room toward the elevator. Maxie was right. Johnny had shattered her world, but she was beginning to see things more clearly.

Maybe the pieces weren't as broken as she'd first thought.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

** Okay, so this story is definitely nearing the end. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. As always, please review!**


	19. Chapter 18

Lulu parked her car in front of Johnny's apartment. She was almost certain that he'd gone back there. Rather than call ahead, she was just taking a chance.

After all, hadn't she decided to do just that when she'd come back to Port Charles.

She took a deep breath, wishing that her stomach didn't feel like a circus of frogs. Sighing, she pushed open the car door and stepped outside, heading for the entrance.

She walked to the stairs that led to Johnny's apartment. After their little liaison just two nights earlier, she hadn't expected to ever come back. But here she was, sorting out her life. She took another breath, forced herself to walk up the stairs and knock on the door.

Johnny answered after mere moments. He opened the door and stared as her, saying nothing. He made no move to let her inside.

"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, knowing that this was it. This was the moment where she decided the rest of her life.

His nod was barely perceptible, but he stepped aside, holding the door open while she slid past him. She walked into the living room, realizing that she'd never been in the place before unless they were having sex.

She turned as he shut the door. "I'm sorry," she began.

"I'm sorry," he said at exactly the same moment.

They smiled, slightly more at ease. She slipped off her coat, dropped in on the worn couch. "We need to figure out some things."

Johnny held up a hand, stopped her. "Lulu, can I just stay one thing?" When she nodded, he continued, "I need you to know that I love you more than life itself. I will do anything for you. I will fight for you. I want both you and Amelia."

She smiled again. "I know. Because I feel the same way. That's why we need to talk."

He nodded. And dropped to the chair opposite the couch. She followed suit and faced him, not entirely sure how to continue. "Johnny, I-I love you. That's not the issue. And I'm beginning to think that maybe we could be good together. But I-I lied to you. How can you forgive me?"

"I know that you lied. And I know that you had good reason when you did. Maybe you were right to lie. Maybe I wasn't ready to be a father back then. But I am now. And I'm willing to forgive you as long as both you and Amelia are in my life."

She nodded. "Amelia doesn't even know you exist. She's never asked about her father. I suspected that it would come up sooner or later, but so far, she's never said anything to me."

"So how do we go about it?"

Lulu sighed, glancing away, knowing that she was putting her entire heart on the line. "We need to take some time. I think that we need to start over. We need to date again and then go through the motions."

"But how do we do that if you live thousands of miles away?"

She smiled ruefully. "I've thought about that too. The whole way over here, I was thinking about how to go forward."

"And what did you come up with?"

"Amelia and I can move back."

He frowned. "That's asking a lot. I mean, you are both settled in—where did you go to live anyway?"

"Greece."

His eyes widened. "I looked all over Europe. France, England, Germany. But I never thought of Greece."

"We live on my brother's family's compound. Private island, little village. Even if you had looked for me, you would have had a hard time finding me."

"Would you really be willing to move back? Just like that?"

She nodded. "I never wanted to leave. I did it because I had to. I lied to you and then I couldn't very well stay here."

"I want a future, Lulu. Us. I want to have something to look forward to."

She smiled. "I know. Like I said, we need to take it slow."

"I also want to meet my daughter. I want her to know that she has a father who loves her."

Lulu felt tears burn at the edge of her eyes and her smile widened. "I know that too. I want Amelia to know you."

"When?"

"I think that now would be good. She's over at Carly's. How about we go pick her up? Together," she added, holding out her hand.

He took it, gripping it tightly. "I once asked you to not worry about tomorrow, only tonight. But now, I'm asking you to think about tomorrow."

She nodded. "I can do that. Anything beyond that will take time—but tomorrow, I can do." She reached for her purse and coat with her free hand. "Come on, let's go get our daughter."

And together, they walked out of the apartment. Johnny never thought he'd hear those words. _Our daughter. Tomorrow. _

For the first time in six years, he was seeing possibilities.

Endless possibilities.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

Lulu said nothing as she knocked on Carly's front door. It was déjà vu just a little bit, except that this time was more so many different reasons. Now she gripped Johnny's hand, grateful that she had someone to lean on now after so many years of being on her own.

Carly answered, grinning when she saw Johnny and Lulu standing together. "Well it's about time."

Lulu smiled and rolled her eyes. "We're taking it slow. We're going to date—do things in the order we didn't do the first time around. But first, Johnny needs to meet his daughter."

Opening the door wider to let them pass, Carly smiled wider. "I'm glad that the two of you worked things out. Mel's in the living room with Josslyn."

Nodding, Lulu let Johnny through the foyer into Carly's wide living room. Amelia was sitting on the floor with her cousin coloring. She looked up and grinned at her mother. "Mommy!" she jumped up, running into her mother's arms. Lulu let go of Johnny's hand and caught the little bullet.

"Hi baby girl," she said, burying her face in her daughter's hair.

Amelia pulled back, holding up the paper in Lulu's face. "Look what I made you, Mama! It's us."

"It's very beautiful. Is that the island?" Lulu smiled brightly, tears glistening at the edge of her eyes.

Amelia nodded, and placed a hand on her mother's cheek, studying her face. "Mama, why are you crying? Are you sad?"

Lulu shook her head quickly. "Oh no, baby, I'm not sad. I'm very, very happy." She glanced behind her at Johnny, who was pushing her onward with his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she pulled away from Amelia and led her to the couch. Carly had discreetly left the room with Josslyn.

"Baby, there's something really important that I have to talk to you about," she began, taking Amelia's hands. "Do you know how Josslyn and Cam and Jake all have daddies _and_ mommies?"

The little girl nodded solemnly. "You said that I have one too, that he couldn't be with us."

Lulu nodded again. "Yes, but the truth is I did a very bad thing when you were born. I lied to a lot of people that you didn't have a daddy."

Amelia's eyes widened in surprise. She knew that lying was bad. "So I do have one?"

"Yes, and everything is better now. There are no more lies. I know that I did something very bad and I want you to know that I did it because I loved you very, very much."

"Where is my daddy?"

Lulu glanced over and nodded at Johnny. "Do you remember the man you saw me with in the park?"

"Yes," Amelia said slowly, glancing between Johnny and her mother. "You were crying."

"I was, but now I'm better. And there's someone very important I'd like you to meet." Lulu shifted so that Amelia could see Johnny's face. "Baby, this is your daddy. He loves you very much."

Johnny knelt down in front of the couch. "I do, Amelia. I love you more than anything in the world. I love both you and your mommy."

Amelia said nothing and just stared at him. She reached out and brushed a hand over his hair. "We have the same hair," she breathed and Lulu smiled through her tears.

Johnny chuckled and caught her hand as it moved down his face. "That we do, and the same eyes."

"Are you going to be my daddy forever?"

He nodded. "Forever and ever. I promise, Amelia, I'll never leave you or your mommy."

Smiling now, Amelia hopped off the couch and threw herself into Johnny's arms. He caught her, feeling the emotion get to him. Never in his life did he think this would ever happen. Not only did he have a real chance with Lulu, he had this living, breathing, beautiful little child to call his own. As he hugged her tightly, he made a promise to whatever god was listening that he would be the best father he knew how and that Amelia would never any but love in her life.

Amelia pulled back, looking shyly up at Johnny. "C-can I call you daddy?"

Johnny grinned wider than Lulu had ever seen him. She knew that they still had things to work through, but no matter what, he would be the sort of father her daughter deserved. After everything that had happened, she couldn't ask for more.

Johnny nodded, pushing back the emotion from his voice. "I'd like that, Amelia, I'd like that very much."

"Will we live together?" she asked, glancing between her mother and her new-found father.

Lulu spoke before Johnny could answer. "Right now, let's just enjoy the fact that no matter what happens, we are a family. Okay, Mel?"

Amelia nodded and gripped Johnny's hand as he rose from the floor. "Okay, but you should think about it, Mama."

Lulu rolled her eyes as Johnny chimed in after his daughter. "Yes Lu, you should think about it."

Amelia laughed as they walked out of the house toward the car. No matter what happened, she thought, Mama said that they were a family.

And in the end, Amelia knew that family was more important than anything.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Obviously Lulu and Johnny are going to have a happy ending and this is just the beginning. I think that there will be one or two more chapters after this. Please keep reading and, of course, reviewing!**


	20. Chapter 19

Lulu stepped out of the elevator at GH, feeling different than she had in a long time. She felt lighter, as though a weight had been lifted off her chest. Well, in reality it had. No matter her mistakes, Johnny knew the truth.

But the most amazing thing was that he'd forgiven her.

She would never forget that no matter what she'd done, he'd forgiven her. That was the best thing of all.

She wasn't sure where they would go next. Johnny had asked for forever. He wanted the whole nine yards, the house with the picket fence and a dog. He wanted her and their child.

But Lulu wanted to take it slow. They were notorious for jumping headfirst into the physical part of the relationship. And look where that had gotten them. So now, she wanted to take it slow, to date and to just be together.

Of course, they had geographic issues to work out, but Lulu was willing to make it work. She was willing to come back to Port Charles and make forever a reality.

Because in her heart, there was nothing she wanted more than to be with Johnny Zacchara forever.

"You look awfully deep in thought there," a smooth Australian voice drawled.

Lulu turned around in surprise, grinning when she saw her brother standing by the nurses' station. "A lot you know," she muttered. "How's Dad?"

"Oh Dad's just dandy, crawling up the walls to get out of here. In fact, Dr. Quartermaine said she'd release him today if he does well on a last few tests."

Lulu nodded, relieved that her father was going to be okay. She needed him to be okay, especially since everything else seemed to work out in her favor lately. "Good. I'm glad. I was just on my way to see him."

Ethan frowned, recognizing her evasiveness. He shook his head and reached for her arm. "Hey…wait a second. Dad'll keep. What's up with you?"

"Johnny found out about Amelia," Lulu said quickly.

Ethan nodded slowly, trying to decipher how she felt about it. "And how'd he take it?"

She shrugged. "Not well, at first. But I think he understood why I did what I did." She glanced away briefly, then back at her brother. "And he wants forever."

"Is that what you want?"

She nodded. "I think that it's always been what I want. He met Amelia and she loves him. Everything worked out so well, it's crazy."

"Well that's good, isn't it?"

"I told Johnny that I want to take it slow. I want forever too, but I won't jeopardize it by just taking the plunge. I want to date and do things right this time."

"That's kind of hard, considering you live in Greece and Johnny's here," Ethan pointed out.

Lulu nodded again. "I know. I'm thinking that Amelia and I will move back. I can work anywhere and Amelia deserves to grow up with her father and family."

Ethan grinned again. "Yeah? You're moving back home. I'm pretty sure that you've just made a lot of people happy with that news—including me. I'm glad to have my little sister back to torture again." He opened his arms and she flew into them. Holding her tightly, he whispered into her ear, "I'm rooting for you, Lulu. I know that you love Johnny and you deserve your happily ever after."

Lulu pulled back, smiling at her brother. "Thanks for that. Especially since you don't put much in store by love. Now stop before you make me cry. We should go tell dad the good news. Maybe it will make him be good for a few more hours." She headed toward her father's room with Ethan following behind.

"I doubt that," Ethan muttered and Lulu grinned. One thing for sure, they both knew their father well.

**GH*GH*GH*GH*GH**

"Gumdrop!" Luke exclaimed from the hospital bed when Lulu and Ethan stepped through the door. "Are you here to break me out of this prison?"

"Considering you've seen the inside of a prison more than once, I don't know how you can compare the two," Lulu replied dryly, taking off her coat and setting it with her purse on the table. "Besides, it appears as though you're being released soon anyway. Breaking you out of here would just be a waste of my time."

Luke narrowed his eyes and glanced between his kids. "So tell me, now that I'm going to live, is this goodbye?"

Lulu hesitated, drawing in a breath and slanting a look at Ethan. She looked back at her father. "Well, not necessarily. In fact, that's what I came to talk to you about."

Now Luke raised a single snowy eyebrow. "Oh? What do you have up your sleeve?"

"Johnny found out about Amelia," she said and told him the same story she'd told Ethan.

When she was finished, Luke stared at her. "So you're moving back to good ol' Port Chuck?"

She nodded, "well it's not definite yet. I'll still have to go back and get things wrapped up in Greece. But I'm sure that Nikolas will be happy to rid the Cassadine Compound of my daughter and I. Besides, I'm pretty sure I've corrupted his entire staff. They may never be the same again."

Luke grinned. "That's my girl. What's life if you can rile things up a bit?" Then he sobered. "Now you know I make it a policy to not get involved in my kids' personal lives, but what does this mean for you and young John Zacchara?"

"We're taking it slow. When Amelia and I are settled back in town, we'll go through the whole dating thing. He'll get to be a father to Mel, but as far as the two of us goes, whatever happens happens."

"No Spencer has ever been able to go slow," Luke pointed out sarcastically. "We are known for jumping in head first."

"That's why I need things to be different. I want this to last as much as he does and the only way it will happen is if we do things right. Especially now that Amelia's in the picture."

"That's very grown-up of you," Luke said solemnly as the man who made it a policy to never grow up. Ethan smirked and Lulu sent her father a bland look. "Are you sure you're my daughter?"

"I love you too, Dad," Lulu replied dryly. "And here I was thinking you'd be happy that your only daughter and only granddaughter are going to be living in the same town again."

Luke smiled now, "I am happy for you, gumdrop. If you're happy, I'm happy. But John Zacchara better do right by you and my granddaughter. You tell him I know several strategies for slow, painful deaths."

Lulu rolled her eyes and reached for her coat. "Dad, don't play the concerned father now. It just changes your image." As she turned toward the door, she saw Monica and Tracy coming into the room. "And look at that! I don't even have to break you out. Monica'll do it for you. Have fun with that," she added for Monica's ears only as she sailed out the door.

By the time she made it to the elevator, Lulu was sure of her decision. She knew that no matter what, she would always have Johnny Zacchara at her side.

And in the end, a woman can't ask for much more in a man.

Some women dreamed about their prince charming riding up on a white horse, she thought with a smile. She was different; her white knight was a broody piano-playing sometime-mobster in a yellow corvette.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.

**Okay, so this is the second to last chapter. Well, the last chapter will be an epilogue. I really want to thank all my readers who have continued to read and review. I hope that you all liked this story. I will probably write more GH stories in the future, although none will be continuations of this one. Right now, I'm experimenting with fan fiction from other TV shows! Keep an eye out for the epilogue, it should be up soon!**


	21. Chapter 20

_One year later:_

The snow fell lightly outside the window as she watched Johnny and Amelia chase each other around the yard. They'd already built a family of snowmen and were now in the midst of a fort and a battle.

Lulu couldn't help but feel downright giddy over how Johnny had taken to fatherhood. Despite being shut out for five years, he'd become a father like he'd been waiting his whole life for it.

And perhaps he had, she thought. She'd spent months in the last year agonizing over her decision, worrying that despite what Johnny said about forgiving her, maybe he hadn't. It wasn't until she realized that while she was beating herself up over the past, her future was gliding right by.

So she'd given up the worries and decided to focus on what she had. And what she had was a beautiful daughter and a man who loved her more than life itself. She had a career that kept her interested and the life she hadn't known she'd always wanted. She'd decided that there was nothing else she could possibly ask for.

Well, she smiled wryly, glancing at the stone on her left hand. Maybe there was more than that. She thought of the year she'd had. It had certainly been a whirlwind.

She'd spent the first two months in Greece, wrapping up everything at the island. Amelia had been homeschooled in Greece so when they'd permanently moved to Port Charles the previous March, she'd been enrolled at the local elementary school. And the best part was that she had meshed so well and loved everything about it. In fact she was doing so well that Johnny and Lulu were still trying to figure out where she'd gotten her academic smarts from. Because they knew for sure that it wasn't either of them.

And then Lulu and Johnny had done exactly as Lulu had wanted. They'd taken their relationship slow. They'd dated and talked about what each wanted from the other. It had become so that Lulu depended on Johnny to just be there for her. This was something new since she'd grown so accustomed to not having anyone else to lean on.

She glanced back at her ring, studying the way the sun shone off it. It reminded her of the night Johnny had proposed marriage. He'd done it beautifully; he'd asked for simple promises and her word that she'd love him forever. She'd said yes and they were married in a quiet ceremony only three weeks earlier.

Now it was Christmas time and the three of them were, once and for all, a family.

Her daughter's laughter brought her out of her musings and she looked back out the window to see Johnny completely buried in snow. What he wouldn't do for that child, she thought with a smirk.

She dropped her hand and still smiling, ran it over her flat stomach. Johnny was such a good father to Amelia that she hoped he'd be the same to the child she carried beneath her heart. She'd only been sure for two weeks and was waiting for the perfect moment to tell him. For now, she was savoring the feeling.

She was going to enjoy this pregnancy, she told herself. The last one had been filled with worry and fear of being a single mother. But this one was going to be stress-free and full of love. This child would never know anything but love, she vowed. It would only know how much its parents loved each other.

As she saw Johnny tackle Amelia one last time before standing up to brush the snow off, she moved into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Her frozen warriors would definitely need something warm.

When she was melting the chocolate over the double burner the way her brother's Grecian cook had taught her, she heard the front door open and voices fill the living room. She peeked her head around the corner and grinned at the sight of Johnny and Amelia. "Amelia, you go upstairs and put on some dry clothes. When you get back down, I'll have some hot chocolate ready."

Amelia's blue eyes lit up and Lulu secretly hoped that their second child would inherit its father's eyes like its sister had. "The kind Cook makes?"

"What else?" Lulu replied, laughing as Johnny walked toward her and enveloped her in a hug. Amelia cheered and raced up the stairs. "You're all wet."

"And you're not, which means your warmth can dry me."

"Oh is that how it works?" Lulu managed as Johnny covered her mouth with his. As he deepened the kiss, she momentarily wished they were alone in the house. "I love you," he said, releasing her.

She smiled. "I love you too." And knew that now, as they were standing in the kitchen, him wet from snow, her dry from the warm fire, was the perfect moment she'd been searching for.

She gave the chocolate another stir and lifted her head to look into his eyes. She wanted to see his face when she told him. "We're going to have a baby," she breathed."

His mouth opened, but no sound came out. His face became a wreath of smiles as he just stared at her. "What?" he asked, not sure he was hearing her correctly. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded, loving the happiness and joy on his face. She framed his jaw with her hands. "Yes, I'm pregnant."

"When?" he breathed.

She smiled, feeling the tears at the edge of her eyes. But it gave her hope to know that they were tears of happiness. "Dr. Lee estimated my due date at June 16th. It'll be a birthday gift for Amelia."

She let out a joyous laugh as he picked her up off her feet and hugged her tightly. "I don't believe it," he said. "Just when I thought my life couldn't get any better. And just like that it did!"

"You're an amazing father to Amelia, Johnny. You are going to be just as wonderful with this child." She reached for his hand and laid it on her stomach. "I hope he has your eyes."

Johnny lifted his gaze to her face. "He?"

She shrugged, still smiling. "Well, we won't know for sure for a few months, but I just have a feeling. Mother's intuition."

"I don't care what it is, boy or girl," Johnny replied decidedly, dropping a chaste kiss on her lips. "I love you more and more every day, Lulu Spencer-Zacchara."

She caught his face. "Hey, you won't hurt the baby. Really kiss me." As he lowered his face to hers, she knew that no matter what had happened in the past, there was nothing but their future as a family to look forward to.

Johnny lifted his head, looking lovingly into her eyes. "Lulu, I once asked you for one night. And then I asked you to think about tomorrow." She nodded and he sucked in a breath before continuing, "But now I'm asking you for always. Because I promise to love you forever and always."

She smiled, glancing up when she heard the sound of their daughter on the stairs. Soon it would be too loud for a serious conversation. "That's good, because forever's all I have to give. I promise to love you forever and always, Johnny Zacchara."

And Lulu knew that no one and nothing could convince her otherwise.

**So here's the epilogue. I hope that you all liked the ending. I did, especially. I love happy endings and while I'm not a huge JoLu fan, there had to be one for this story. Please review and tell me what you think of the story as a whole. Thanks for being loyal readers for the entire story!**


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